1 00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:02,857 (engaging guitar music) 2 00:00:02,857 --> 00:00:06,487 - It was a nasty cut. You have a dangerous job? 3 00:00:06,493 --> 00:00:08,633 - I was on kitchen duty, chopping onions. 4 00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:09,459 (both chuckle) 5 00:00:09,462 --> 00:00:11,072 Not exactly the "Iron Chef." 6 00:00:11,074 --> 00:00:14,064 - Well still, it must take guts. 7 00:00:14,062 --> 00:00:15,212 - Eating my cooking? 8 00:00:15,206 --> 00:00:17,566 - No, saving lives. 9 00:00:17,569 --> 00:00:20,169 - Well, you save lives too. 10 00:00:20,169 --> 00:00:23,209 - True. But you make house calls. 11 00:00:23,214 --> 00:00:25,164 (Jeff chuckling) 12 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,405 Here we go. All wrapped up. 13 00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:31,304 - Oh, just like you, eh? (chuckles) 14 00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:33,287 It's a Muslim thing, right? (chuckles) 15 00:00:33,292 --> 00:00:34,162 - Very good. 16 00:00:34,163 --> 00:00:35,933 - Uh, we've now reached the limits 17 00:00:35,929 --> 00:00:38,579 of my knowledge of Muslimism. 18 00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:39,881 Guess I got a lot to learn. 19 00:00:39,877 --> 00:00:42,897 - It's Islam. And yes, it is a long story. 20 00:00:42,901 --> 00:00:46,321 - I like long stories. I'll make popcorn. 21 00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:47,996 - Ah, sorry. 22 00:00:47,999 --> 00:00:50,359 I've got, like, 40 patients waiting. 23 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,350 Maybe some other time. 24 00:00:51,354 --> 00:00:54,344 - But I'd really like to hear a lot more about Islam, 25 00:00:54,338 --> 00:00:56,898 unless it's some kinda secret society or something. 26 00:00:56,896 --> 00:00:58,696 - No, don't be silly. 27 00:00:58,701 --> 00:01:01,181 Uh, you can just pop by our mosque. Speak to our Imam. 28 00:01:01,181 --> 00:01:02,911 He's like our minister. 29 00:01:02,912 --> 00:01:06,162 Actually, I might have a pamphlet here. 30 00:01:09,159 --> 00:01:11,229 This is for your education. 31 00:01:11,232 --> 00:01:13,772 This is for your inflammation. 32 00:01:13,766 --> 00:01:15,626 It's that way. 33 00:01:15,626 --> 00:01:18,786 (gentle guitar music) 34 00:01:20,332 --> 00:01:23,082 - He can hose me down in anytime. 35 00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:24,796 Did you give him your number? 36 00:01:24,796 --> 00:01:28,536 - What? No, he just wants to learn about Islam. 37 00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:31,020 - Why? He's already a God. 38 00:01:31,018 --> 00:01:33,418 - That is blasphemous. I'm getting you a pamphlet. 39 00:01:33,417 --> 00:01:36,837 (awkward music) 40 00:01:36,842 --> 00:01:39,592 (majestic music) 41 00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:45,363 (singing in Arabic) 42 00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:14,121 (playful guitar music) 43 00:02:14,122 --> 00:02:16,882 - Hey, fancy meeting you here. You mind? 44 00:02:16,878 --> 00:02:17,708 - No. 45 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:19,669 - Guess what. 46 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:20,512 - What? 47 00:02:20,505 --> 00:02:21,425 - I read your pamphlet. 48 00:02:21,431 --> 00:02:22,851 - Oh really? That's great. 49 00:02:22,847 --> 00:02:24,117 - Yeah, go ahead. Test me. 50 00:02:24,117 --> 00:02:25,387 - No, that's okay. I believe you. 51 00:02:25,388 --> 00:02:27,268 - Oh, come on. It'll be fun. 52 00:02:27,265 --> 00:02:29,135 - Okay. How many pillars? 53 00:02:29,141 --> 00:02:29,971 - Five. 54 00:02:29,974 --> 00:02:31,264 - What are they? 55 00:02:31,255 --> 00:02:33,585 - Witness, prayers, 56 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:37,477 charity, fasting, and, uh, what's the other one? 57 00:02:37,482 --> 00:02:38,662 - A pilgrimage to Mecca. 58 00:02:38,656 --> 00:02:39,486 - Hadj. 59 00:02:39,489 --> 00:02:40,319 - Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:40,322 --> 00:02:42,572 - So what do I win? A car? 61 00:02:42,565 --> 00:02:43,395 Dinner for two? 62 00:02:43,398 --> 00:02:45,318 - Yeah, whatever you like. (chuckling) 63 00:02:45,321 --> 00:02:49,121 - Really? Well what time should I pick you up? 64 00:02:49,123 --> 00:02:50,883 - Oh, no. I'm so sorry. 65 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:54,129 Uh, I didn't mean to imply anything. 66 00:02:54,125 --> 00:02:55,205 I can't date. 67 00:02:56,552 --> 00:03:00,782 - Right. I guess that's in another pamphlet. 68 00:03:00,777 --> 00:03:02,607 (Rayyan chuckling) 69 00:03:02,609 --> 00:03:04,309 - Uh, what did you do to your bandage there? 70 00:03:04,306 --> 00:03:07,386 - Oh, it kept falling off so I re-wrapped it myself. 71 00:03:07,393 --> 00:03:08,993 - Here. Can I? 72 00:03:08,986 --> 00:03:09,816 - [Jeff] Yeah. 73 00:03:09,819 --> 00:03:10,649 - [Rayyan] Is it sore? 74 00:03:10,652 --> 00:03:11,912 - He's hot. 75 00:03:11,906 --> 00:03:13,156 - What did you just say? 76 00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:14,179 - Nothing. 77 00:03:14,178 --> 00:03:16,498 - You should not be looking at the opposite sex. 78 00:03:16,504 --> 00:03:17,894 - It's kind of hard not to when you're living 79 00:03:17,891 --> 00:03:19,021 on planet earth. 80 00:03:19,018 --> 00:03:20,798 - Nobody said being a Muslim was easy. 81 00:03:20,797 --> 00:03:22,617 - Then how come Rayyan gets to go on a date? 82 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,200 - Rayyan is an adult. 83 00:03:24,202 --> 00:03:25,702 Plus, she doesn't. 84 00:03:26,678 --> 00:03:27,508 - [Customer] Here we go. 85 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,581 (Baber coughing) 86 00:03:29,581 --> 00:03:31,801 - What kind of example is this? 87 00:03:31,804 --> 00:03:33,334 There are children present. 88 00:03:33,332 --> 00:03:36,582 - Excuse me. We're talking about Islam. 89 00:03:38,081 --> 00:03:40,701 - She is a bad example. Do not listen to her. 90 00:03:40,699 --> 00:03:43,459 - Well, it's too late. I already have. 91 00:03:43,464 --> 00:03:46,664 - Baber is what Muslims would call, "An extremist." 92 00:03:46,662 --> 00:03:48,592 - Baber, like the elephant? 93 00:03:48,587 --> 00:03:49,927 (Rayyan chuckles) 94 00:03:49,931 --> 00:03:51,261 - Certainly not. 95 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,616 I will deal with you later. 96 00:03:54,617 --> 00:03:56,277 Come on Layla. You are grounded. 97 00:03:56,283 --> 00:03:57,123 - What did I do? 98 00:03:57,116 --> 00:03:58,146 - Come on, come, come, come, come, 99 00:03:58,146 --> 00:03:59,806 come, come, come, come. 100 00:03:59,812 --> 00:04:01,192 - What is his problem? 101 00:04:01,192 --> 00:04:03,822 (dramatic string music) 102 00:04:03,817 --> 00:04:06,467 - Yasir, there's been an emergency. 103 00:04:06,467 --> 00:04:08,237 - This late delivery is an emergency. 104 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,160 - Yasir, this is a real emergency. 105 00:04:10,163 --> 00:04:11,553 - What is it? Rayyan, Sarah? 106 00:04:11,547 --> 00:04:16,127 - Rayyan was in the cafe holding hands with an infidel. 107 00:04:17,413 --> 00:04:18,863 - Baber, are you familiar 108 00:04:18,864 --> 00:04:21,154 with the definition of the term emergency? 109 00:04:21,147 --> 00:04:23,687 - The entire cafe witnessed the shame. 110 00:04:23,688 --> 00:04:24,808 Control your daughter. 111 00:04:24,811 --> 00:04:25,891 - Control your imagination. 112 00:04:25,889 --> 00:04:28,799 - As Allah is my witness, I have no imagination. 113 00:04:28,797 --> 00:04:30,977 None. You go talk to her. 114 00:04:30,978 --> 00:04:32,698 - I will not. I will not. 115 00:04:32,704 --> 00:04:35,304 I completely trust my daughter, completely. 116 00:04:35,298 --> 00:04:37,008 They said you were holding his hand. 117 00:04:37,006 --> 00:04:39,916 - I was just re-bandaging his hand. 118 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,420 - I knew that there was a perfectly good explanation. 119 00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:44,661 - I'm glad I could clear that up. 120 00:04:44,657 --> 00:04:47,407 (Yasir laughing) 121 00:04:50,004 --> 00:04:50,844 - At Fatima's. 122 00:04:50,837 --> 00:04:53,767 Why would you be doing this at Fatima's? 123 00:04:53,765 --> 00:04:56,495 - Jeff wanted to learn about Islam. 124 00:04:56,503 --> 00:04:57,673 - Makes sense. 125 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:00,010 - So we're done? 126 00:05:00,013 --> 00:05:00,853 (Yasir chuckling) 127 00:05:00,846 --> 00:05:02,256 - Done. Hmm, hmm. 128 00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:05,406 What kind of normal person 129 00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:06,745 has the least interest in Islam? 130 00:05:06,752 --> 00:05:09,062 - You mean besides us Muslims, Dad? 131 00:05:09,056 --> 00:05:11,076 - You're right. 132 00:05:11,079 --> 00:05:12,759 Sorry for giving you the third degree. 133 00:05:12,758 --> 00:05:15,268 - I told you it was nothing. 134 00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:16,467 It's nothing. 135 00:05:16,471 --> 00:05:17,721 - Hi, sweetie. 136 00:05:17,724 --> 00:05:19,274 Rayyan, I just heard. 137 00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,611 Tell me everything. 138 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,252 - Everything? Since when is nothing, everything? 139 00:05:23,245 --> 00:05:24,495 - I know it's a small town. 140 00:05:24,497 --> 00:05:26,297 How is my private life front page news? 141 00:05:26,303 --> 00:05:27,153 - Private life? 142 00:05:27,151 --> 00:05:30,761 All of a sudden you have a private life? 143 00:05:30,759 --> 00:05:31,839 This is worse than I thought. 144 00:05:31,837 --> 00:05:34,257 - Oh, it's the talk of Mercy, you and your fireman. 145 00:05:34,261 --> 00:05:36,521 - Fire, fire, fireman? 146 00:05:36,515 --> 00:05:38,285 It's worse than the worst that I thought. 147 00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:39,729 - He's in the fireman calendar. 148 00:05:39,727 --> 00:05:43,597 - Oh! So I'm glad I won't be alive to see this. 149 00:05:43,603 --> 00:05:45,023 - Dad! Calm down. 150 00:05:47,125 --> 00:05:51,075 The calendar is for charity. And I am not dating him. 151 00:05:51,082 --> 00:05:51,922 - Denial. That's good. 152 00:05:51,915 --> 00:05:53,355 That's exactly what I told my mother 153 00:05:53,361 --> 00:05:54,421 when I dated that biker. 154 00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:55,993 - But I am not doing 155 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,309 anything. - Oh, yeah. 156 00:05:57,305 --> 00:05:58,365 - You have to trust me. 157 00:05:58,374 --> 00:06:00,964 - Well, of course we trust you. 158 00:06:03,025 --> 00:06:05,375 - I trust you completely, Rayyan. 159 00:06:05,383 --> 00:06:06,223 - Good. 160 00:06:09,942 --> 00:06:10,802 - She's up to something. 161 00:06:10,795 --> 00:06:11,635 - Definitely. 162 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,770 (evocative string music) 163 00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:16,377 (door bangs) 164 00:06:16,379 --> 00:06:17,939 - You better go. 165 00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,274 - (speaking Arabic), Layla. 166 00:06:19,265 --> 00:06:20,535 - (speaking Arabic), Dad. 167 00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:24,782 You're home early. Uh, I thought you were in a meeting. 168 00:06:24,778 --> 00:06:26,938 - Is that a boy? 169 00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:28,540 - My guess would be yes. 170 00:06:28,544 --> 00:06:29,954 (Baber speaks in Arabic) 171 00:06:29,953 --> 00:06:31,563 - Alone with a boy? 172 00:06:31,561 --> 00:06:33,481 - Well, if I'm with a boy, then I'm not alone. 173 00:06:33,481 --> 00:06:35,621 - Boy, leave now. 174 00:06:35,619 --> 00:06:38,109 And never speak to my daughter again. 175 00:06:38,114 --> 00:06:40,224 - Dad, we have to study biology. 176 00:06:40,218 --> 00:06:43,098 - Not until you're married. 177 00:06:43,097 --> 00:06:45,027 This is all because of Rayyan. 178 00:06:45,033 --> 00:06:46,703 - But she's the best Muslim I know. 179 00:06:46,703 --> 00:06:48,993 - That is what I'm afraid of. 180 00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,731 - It's highly unusual for someone to request 181 00:06:50,729 --> 00:06:52,919 a fire inspection of their own premises. 182 00:06:52,921 --> 00:06:54,401 - Well, I hope you're not suggesting 183 00:06:54,399 --> 00:06:57,279 that I have some kind of ulterior motive. 184 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,684 What kind of money do you make? 185 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,770 - What kind of money do you make? 186 00:07:00,772 --> 00:07:02,122 - That's none of your business. 187 00:07:02,119 --> 00:07:03,809 - Good answer. 188 00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:06,740 I'm glad to see you've got such clearly marked exits. 189 00:07:06,738 --> 00:07:07,568 - Why? 190 00:07:07,571 --> 00:07:08,401 You're the kind of person 191 00:07:08,404 --> 00:07:09,884 that's always looking for a way out? 192 00:07:09,881 --> 00:07:11,651 Afraid of commitment? 193 00:07:11,646 --> 00:07:13,646 - No, I'm afraid of fires. 194 00:07:13,645 --> 00:07:14,975 Um, what's this? 195 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,759 - That is an outlet cover. 196 00:07:18,762 --> 00:07:21,452 Do you enjoy being single? 197 00:07:21,452 --> 00:07:22,602 - I guess. 198 00:07:22,599 --> 00:07:24,499 - More time to play the field? 199 00:07:24,503 --> 00:07:26,003 - I do fine. 200 00:07:26,002 --> 00:07:28,922 Where's your sprinkler system, hmm? 201 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,527 - What do you mean, "Fine"? 202 00:07:33,528 --> 00:07:34,618 - What? 203 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,050 - You were saying, "Fine." 204 00:07:37,046 --> 00:07:39,236 - Look, if you don't get a sprinkler installed, 205 00:07:39,237 --> 00:07:41,167 we will be talking fine. 206 00:07:41,172 --> 00:07:43,222 Address these changes within 90 days 207 00:07:43,218 --> 00:07:47,118 or you're facing a full electrical inspection. 208 00:07:47,122 --> 00:07:48,392 Have a nice day. 209 00:07:48,386 --> 00:07:50,506 (gentle guitar music) 210 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:54,711 - So you're saying they were actually holding hands? 211 00:07:54,705 --> 00:07:57,615 - I wasn't saying it. I was yelling it. 212 00:07:57,615 --> 00:07:59,975 We have to keep that lascivious woman 213 00:07:59,983 --> 00:08:03,053 away from that handsome, white devil. 214 00:08:03,045 --> 00:08:04,395 - He was handsome? 215 00:08:04,397 --> 00:08:07,577 - What difference does that make? He's an infidel. 216 00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:09,653 - Do you think she likes this guy? 217 00:08:09,653 --> 00:08:13,683 - Who cares? Do something before they lie together. 218 00:08:13,681 --> 00:08:15,991 - What are they lying about? 219 00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:20,549 - I'm talking about the premarital relations. 220 00:08:20,549 --> 00:08:24,129 - Baber, it's a long way from that. Surely. 221 00:08:25,918 --> 00:08:28,168 - What is wrong with you? 222 00:08:28,171 --> 00:08:29,941 Are you having the hots for Rayyan? 223 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:34,942 - Of course not. Now you're being lascivious. (chuckling) 224 00:08:36,441 --> 00:08:37,621 - So you'll do something? 225 00:08:37,615 --> 00:08:39,045 - I'll get to it, yes. 226 00:08:39,047 --> 00:08:42,477 - Soon, or I have to take matters into my own hands. 227 00:08:42,477 --> 00:08:46,807 Layla must be protected from the influence of this Pop-Tart. 228 00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:47,640 - Okay. 229 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,950 (calm guitar music) 230 00:08:50,951 --> 00:08:52,061 - You sprained your ankle? 231 00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:54,086 - Yeah. Weird, huh? 232 00:08:54,089 --> 00:08:56,509 - Yeah. Okay, does this hurt? 233 00:08:58,702 --> 00:09:00,252 - No. 234 00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:01,771 - Does this hurt? 235 00:09:01,769 --> 00:09:02,599 - Nope. 236 00:09:03,774 --> 00:09:05,384 - Does this hurt? - Ow. 237 00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:06,205 You pinched me. 238 00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:07,188 - That's 'cause there's nothing wrong with you. 239 00:09:07,187 --> 00:09:08,017 (Jeff sighs) 240 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:08,950 - I know. 241 00:09:08,945 --> 00:09:10,365 I just wanted to see you again. 242 00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:12,285 - Okay, there is something wrong with you. 243 00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:13,121 You're nuts. 244 00:09:13,124 --> 00:09:14,844 - Well, how am I supposed to get to know you better? 245 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,950 - I am a doctor and a Muslim 246 00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:18,176 and that's all you need to know. 247 00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:19,138 - Okay, wait a second. 248 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,420 Now I do need medical help. 249 00:09:21,424 --> 00:09:23,504 My search and rescue exam is next week. 250 00:09:23,504 --> 00:09:26,254 There's a lot of medical stuff. 251 00:09:26,254 --> 00:09:27,464 - Oh, medical stuff. 252 00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,130 - You see, I'm lost. 253 00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:31,296 - Will you help me cram? Hmm? 254 00:09:31,296 --> 00:09:32,546 Over dinner? 255 00:09:32,554 --> 00:09:35,534 - It sounds like you're asking me out on a date. 256 00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:36,611 - Well, I am. 257 00:09:37,636 --> 00:09:38,966 - I can't go on a date. 258 00:09:38,974 --> 00:09:40,724 - Well, then I'm not. 259 00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:43,107 Will you go on a non-date 260 00:09:43,112 --> 00:09:45,722 or whatever the Muslim equivalent is? 261 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,440 - Well, that would be doing nothing. 262 00:09:47,436 --> 00:09:51,446 - So you're saying tomorrow night is better, right? 263 00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:54,397 - Look, Jeff. It's not you. 264 00:09:54,397 --> 00:09:56,007 It's Islam. 265 00:09:56,010 --> 00:09:58,900 Don't take it personally. 266 00:09:58,897 --> 00:10:01,977 - Oh, who takes rejection personally? 267 00:10:03,313 --> 00:10:04,413 (door slams) 268 00:10:04,407 --> 00:10:05,997 - Don't slam the door. 269 00:10:06,002 --> 00:10:07,272 - I flunked my biology test 270 00:10:07,271 --> 00:10:09,161 because you kicked my study partner out. 271 00:10:09,164 --> 00:10:11,414 - You failed biology because your hormones 272 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,490 have filled your head with the boy thinking. 273 00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:17,080 - And I failed my English because you tutored me. 274 00:10:17,082 --> 00:10:20,932 - Layla, you and I have not seen eye to eye lately 275 00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:24,060 but I have found the perfect compromise. 276 00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:26,468 - I didn't think compromise is in your vocabulary. 277 00:10:26,472 --> 00:10:30,012 - I am sending you away to an all girl Islamic school. 278 00:10:30,014 --> 00:10:31,484 - And I was right. 279 00:10:31,484 --> 00:10:33,964 If you do this, I'll never speak to you again. 280 00:10:33,957 --> 00:10:34,897 - Oh yes, you will. 281 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,931 I am doing this to save your soul. 282 00:10:36,934 --> 00:10:38,404 - I hate you. I hate you. 283 00:10:38,402 --> 00:10:39,492 I hate you. 284 00:10:39,489 --> 00:10:41,929 - You see? You're speaking to me again. 285 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,192 (contemplative music) 286 00:10:44,191 --> 00:10:45,721 - As good Muslims, 287 00:10:45,724 --> 00:10:48,144 we are all obliged to submit. 288 00:10:50,805 --> 00:10:53,885 Now sometimes, submitting isn't easy. 289 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:57,150 But as good Muslims, 290 00:10:57,154 --> 00:10:58,994 we must always try to- 291 00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:03,038 - Let me guess. Submit. 292 00:11:04,566 --> 00:11:05,396 - Exactly. 293 00:11:06,402 --> 00:11:08,762 - Is this my remedial Islam exam 294 00:11:08,764 --> 00:11:12,664 or is there something you wanna tell me? 295 00:11:12,658 --> 00:11:15,988 - Okay. You can't date a non-Muslim man. 296 00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:21,574 - I'm not dating Jeff. 297 00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:22,400 - Jeff. 298 00:11:23,341 --> 00:11:24,171 (Amaar huffs) 299 00:11:24,174 --> 00:11:26,934 - Is there something wrong with the name, Jeff? 300 00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:29,418 - What, you couldn't find a Biff, 301 00:11:29,419 --> 00:11:31,419 or a Chuck, or a Scotty? 302 00:11:33,101 --> 00:11:35,421 - What has gotten into you? 303 00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:37,727 (Amaar coughs) 304 00:11:37,732 --> 00:11:38,822 - Nothing. 305 00:11:38,815 --> 00:11:40,975 Um, I am concerned for you 306 00:11:42,206 --> 00:11:43,286 as your Imam. 307 00:11:45,202 --> 00:11:49,202 You are not behaving like a proper Muslim woman. 308 00:11:52,826 --> 00:11:56,866 - So as usual, the rules only apply to women, hmm? 309 00:11:56,868 --> 00:11:59,888 You are just like every other Muslim man I've ever met. 310 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:00,717 - Well then, 311 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,870 why don't you find a nice non-Muslim man to date? 312 00:12:02,867 --> 00:12:04,947 Oh, wait, you already have. 313 00:12:04,954 --> 00:12:07,444 - Well, I wasn't dating Jeff, 314 00:12:07,438 --> 00:12:11,008 but hey, now that you mention it, what a great idea. 315 00:12:11,012 --> 00:12:14,082 (evocative music) 316 00:12:14,076 --> 00:12:16,446 - Fatima, my dad is sending me away to an Islamic school 317 00:12:16,454 --> 00:12:18,114 to become an Islam-o-bot. 318 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:20,512 - Islamic school is just like regular school, 319 00:12:20,512 --> 00:12:23,672 - Except without the boys, the dances, the fun. 320 00:12:23,671 --> 00:12:24,541 - Don't worry. 321 00:12:24,539 --> 00:12:26,689 Your father can't live with you so far away. 322 00:12:26,688 --> 00:12:27,678 I'll talk to him. 323 00:12:27,675 --> 00:12:28,505 - I love you. I love you. 324 00:12:28,508 --> 00:12:29,338 I love you. 325 00:12:29,341 --> 00:12:30,481 (Fatima chuckling) 326 00:12:30,478 --> 00:12:33,898 (energetic string music) 327 00:12:35,977 --> 00:12:38,637 (phone beeping) 328 00:12:40,809 --> 00:12:42,359 (Rayyan sighs) 329 00:12:42,358 --> 00:12:45,348 - Hi, Jeff? This is Rayyan. 330 00:12:45,352 --> 00:12:47,192 Good. Listen. 331 00:12:47,186 --> 00:12:50,086 Maybe we should get together after all. 332 00:12:50,092 --> 00:12:51,552 Am I sure? 333 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:53,873 Yes, I just talked to my Imam, 334 00:12:53,871 --> 00:12:56,671 and believe me, I'm sure. 335 00:12:56,671 --> 00:12:58,991 (suspenseful music) 336 00:12:58,992 --> 00:13:01,562 - Oh, my grandson will have beautiful pecs. 337 00:13:01,558 --> 00:13:03,058 - Hello, Mr. September. 338 00:13:03,058 --> 00:13:03,888 - Oh. 339 00:13:03,891 --> 00:13:05,631 - Color me fall. 340 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:07,305 We have got to start a fire. 341 00:13:07,305 --> 00:13:09,005 - Oh- - Give me that. 342 00:13:09,007 --> 00:13:10,537 I don't think Jeff would appreciate you 343 00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:11,891 treating him like a sex object. 344 00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:12,721 - Oh. - Well, Jeff should 345 00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:13,564 have thought of that 346 00:13:13,557 --> 00:13:15,627 before he took off his shirt and straddled that pole. 347 00:13:15,632 --> 00:13:17,772 (both laughing) 348 00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:19,326 - Mom, can you stay home tonight 349 00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:21,410 because he's coming over for a date? 350 00:13:21,408 --> 00:13:23,738 - Rayyan, love has turned your brain to mush. 351 00:13:23,742 --> 00:13:25,842 You mean to say your mother should go out. 352 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:26,988 - No I don't. 353 00:13:26,992 --> 00:13:28,982 Muslims don't allow unchaperoned dating. 354 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,375 - Ugh, what exactly do Muslims allow? 355 00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:32,210 - Praying. 356 00:13:32,213 --> 00:13:33,053 - Mm-hmm. - Hmm. 357 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:33,956 - So you'll stay home? 358 00:13:33,956 --> 00:13:35,476 - Oh, this is the happiest day of my life. 359 00:13:35,483 --> 00:13:37,473 Of course I'll stay home. 360 00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:39,917 I'm just so glad you're doing something besides work. 361 00:13:39,921 --> 00:13:41,821 What made you change your mind about the date? 362 00:13:41,816 --> 00:13:43,106 - Amaar. 363 00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:46,870 - You see, he is the progressive Imam you thought he was. 364 00:13:46,873 --> 00:13:50,293 - Oh, he's nothing like I thought he was. 365 00:13:51,528 --> 00:13:53,488 - Sending your own little daughter away? 366 00:13:53,493 --> 00:13:56,093 Hah. You're an impossible man. 367 00:13:56,087 --> 00:13:58,337 - I am entirely possible. 368 00:13:58,335 --> 00:14:02,185 My relatives in Pakistan say I am a perfect father, 369 00:14:02,188 --> 00:14:03,408 perhaps too perfect, but- 370 00:14:03,411 --> 00:14:05,881 - Only a man would think to send his own daughter 371 00:14:05,882 --> 00:14:07,442 away to strangers. 372 00:14:07,436 --> 00:14:09,416 - Well, only a woman would think 373 00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,735 that only a man would think that. 374 00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:13,865 Oh, stop trying to confuse me. 375 00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:15,717 - Clearly, you've thought this through. 376 00:14:15,719 --> 00:14:17,069 You've made up your mind. 377 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,555 - I am entirely comfortable with my decision 378 00:14:19,564 --> 00:14:23,304 but there is one thing that bothers me. 379 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,057 How am I going to live without her? 380 00:14:26,057 --> 00:14:28,897 (melancholy flute music) 381 00:14:28,898 --> 00:14:30,918 - So you called me in 382 00:14:30,923 --> 00:14:33,553 for cultural sensitivity training. 383 00:14:33,553 --> 00:14:35,653 I don't understand. I love Muslims. 384 00:14:35,646 --> 00:14:36,746 - That's clear. 385 00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:37,955 - Great. 386 00:14:37,955 --> 00:14:42,705 - No, I just wanna make sure you know the rules, Jeff. 387 00:14:42,706 --> 00:14:45,196 - Well, if you mean the five pillars, there's no problem- 388 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:49,530 - I'm talking about physical contact between the sexes. 389 00:14:49,528 --> 00:14:52,698 A man is not allowed to touch a Muslim woman 390 00:14:52,704 --> 00:14:57,634 unless he's her brother, her father, or her husband 391 00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,280 - Not even if she needed mouth-to-mouth? 392 00:14:59,281 --> 00:15:00,961 - You keep your mouth away from her. 393 00:15:00,962 --> 00:15:03,372 - She'd be unconscious. 394 00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:04,936 - You'd kiss an unconscious woman? 395 00:15:04,936 --> 00:15:06,706 - Kiss? Who's talking about kissing? 396 00:15:06,713 --> 00:15:08,673 - Men like you skip that step, don't they? 397 00:15:08,668 --> 00:15:12,328 - Men like me? What does that mean? 398 00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:15,080 - Men who pose in nude calendars. 399 00:15:19,241 --> 00:15:22,801 - I don't wanna be culturally insensitive here but, 400 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,617 what the hell? 401 00:15:24,622 --> 00:15:26,272 - And he said, in his own words, 402 00:15:26,268 --> 00:15:27,958 and I quote, 403 00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:29,539 "I play the field." 404 00:15:30,832 --> 00:15:32,652 - His own words? 405 00:15:32,653 --> 00:15:33,653 - Well, I'm assuming. 406 00:15:33,648 --> 00:15:36,188 But all those guys, they're all alike. 407 00:15:36,192 --> 00:15:37,222 - Oh, calm down. 408 00:15:37,218 --> 00:15:39,248 So the guy goes out on the odd date? 409 00:15:39,246 --> 00:15:41,446 I mean, that's not so terrible, is it? 410 00:15:41,448 --> 00:15:42,278 - Guess not. 411 00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:45,861 - No, he dates one girl, and then he dates another. 412 00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:46,703 - Perfectly reasonable, 413 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,196 I suppose. - Yeah, now the most recent 414 00:15:48,195 --> 00:15:50,035 girl happens to be our daughter. 415 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,260 - Then that's when your logic falls apart, 416 00:15:52,261 --> 00:15:53,091 you see, because- 417 00:15:53,094 --> 00:15:54,584 (Yasir grunting) 418 00:15:54,576 --> 00:15:55,406 - Breathe. 419 00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:58,569 (tense string music) 420 00:15:58,573 --> 00:16:01,723 - It's not as though you're going halfway around the world, 421 00:16:01,717 --> 00:16:03,227 You're only going to Michigan. 422 00:16:03,227 --> 00:16:05,147 It is a cultural oasis, 423 00:16:05,149 --> 00:16:07,939 home of The Henry Ford Museum. 424 00:16:07,936 --> 00:16:09,056 (Layla crying) 425 00:16:09,056 --> 00:16:11,416 But you'll get to learn about the religion 426 00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:15,578 and many of the classes are taught in Arabic. 427 00:16:15,584 --> 00:16:17,724 (Layla sobbing) 428 00:16:17,719 --> 00:16:20,639 (doorbell ringing) 429 00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:22,751 - Will you two get out of my way, please? 430 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,890 - Um, I have an idea. 431 00:16:24,889 --> 00:16:27,959 Why doesn't the person who's on the date answer the door? 432 00:16:27,962 --> 00:16:30,462 - Oh, do not ruin this for Rayyan. 433 00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:34,766 - I'm her father. It's my job to ruin it for her. 434 00:16:34,766 --> 00:16:36,046 - This is my, my mom. 435 00:16:36,052 --> 00:16:37,082 - Oh, hi. Hi. 436 00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:37,911 I'm Sarah. 437 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:38,754 - How do you do. I'm Jeff. 438 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,537 Nice to meet you. 439 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:43,190 That's for you. - Oh, a fire extinguisher. 440 00:16:43,190 --> 00:16:44,040 You shouldn't have. 441 00:16:44,035 --> 00:16:45,635 - Oh, I know it looks expensive, 442 00:16:45,635 --> 00:16:46,685 but we get 'em for free, so it's- 443 00:16:46,688 --> 00:16:47,518 - Oh. 444 00:16:49,914 --> 00:16:50,814 - You're here? 445 00:16:50,813 --> 00:16:52,313 - Oh yeah, this is my dad. 446 00:16:52,314 --> 00:16:53,454 Do you, do you know each other? 447 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:56,675 - Oh, I know a lot about Jeff. 448 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,510 Strictly business. Fire inspection at the mosque. 449 00:16:58,514 --> 00:17:01,224 - Yeah, more like a fireman inspection. 450 00:17:01,218 --> 00:17:03,468 - Yasir, you wanna? Oh, hi. 451 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,530 Uh, we have some ironing to do upstairs. 452 00:17:06,529 --> 00:17:07,389 - I can't go upstairs. 453 00:17:07,392 --> 00:17:09,022 - Yes you can, you see that staircase there? 454 00:17:09,024 --> 00:17:10,194 We had it installed to make it easy. 455 00:17:10,187 --> 00:17:13,797 One foot in front of the other. (chuckling) 456 00:17:13,803 --> 00:17:15,763 (Rayyan laughing) 457 00:17:15,761 --> 00:17:18,431 (toy squeaking) 458 00:17:20,565 --> 00:17:23,155 - There's no need for you to stand century, dear. 459 00:17:23,163 --> 00:17:25,643 - Ah, we'll I'll believe that when you stop strangling 460 00:17:25,639 --> 00:17:27,179 your little lamb. 461 00:17:27,183 --> 00:17:29,623 - Look, look, I'm fine. Totally fine. 462 00:17:29,621 --> 00:17:30,581 Here I am. 463 00:17:30,579 --> 00:17:33,249 - Good, 'cause you know, we have to trust our daughter. 464 00:17:33,249 --> 00:17:35,789 - But do we have to trust Mr. September? 465 00:17:35,790 --> 00:17:38,080 - What's for dinner? Couscous, curry? 466 00:17:38,081 --> 00:17:39,901 - Close. It's shepherd's pie. 467 00:17:39,904 --> 00:17:42,814 - Oh, I love ethnic food. 468 00:17:42,809 --> 00:17:46,819 - Well, I hope it's not too spicy. (chuckles) 469 00:17:46,822 --> 00:17:48,362 - Hey, you're nervous. 470 00:17:48,357 --> 00:17:50,747 Oh, that's really sweet. 471 00:17:50,753 --> 00:17:53,593 - You don't have to be. Come here. 472 00:17:58,030 --> 00:17:59,530 - I can't do this. 473 00:18:00,463 --> 00:18:01,963 - I'm confused. 474 00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,778 When a woman invites a man over for dinner, 475 00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:04,622 a date- - Jeff, 476 00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:05,705 my parents are upstairs. 477 00:18:05,706 --> 00:18:06,936 - Okay, Let's go out. 478 00:18:06,938 --> 00:18:08,838 - No, we can't go out. 479 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,628 - I don't understand. You invited me on a date, didn't you? 480 00:18:11,629 --> 00:18:14,349 - Yes, but I shouldn't have. 481 00:18:14,351 --> 00:18:17,861 I was, uh, angry. I wasn't thinking. 482 00:18:17,857 --> 00:18:19,867 And I guess I was using you. 483 00:18:19,867 --> 00:18:21,137 - Well, hey, that's cool. 484 00:18:21,137 --> 00:18:23,847 I don't mind being used. I'm user-friendly. 485 00:18:23,846 --> 00:18:26,696 - This was a big mistake. 486 00:18:26,697 --> 00:18:30,777 And it was my mistake, but I think you better go. 487 00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:32,761 - I guess the extinguisher 488 00:18:32,764 --> 00:18:35,764 was the right choice of gift then. 489 00:18:35,759 --> 00:18:39,939 (melancholy flute music) 490 00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:42,360 (door bangs) 491 00:18:43,969 --> 00:18:44,799 - Are you hurt? Are you all right? 492 00:18:44,802 --> 00:18:46,382 'Cause if he laid a hand on you, oh- 493 00:18:46,378 --> 00:18:49,168 - Dad, he didn't hurt me. 494 00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:50,247 I hurt him. 495 00:18:50,249 --> 00:18:52,189 - It's all right. He was beneath you. 496 00:18:52,186 --> 00:18:54,186 - Oh, he never stood a chance. 497 00:18:54,185 --> 00:18:57,345 - I have to go to the Mosque and pray. 498 00:18:58,483 --> 00:18:59,453 - I'll drive you. 499 00:18:59,449 --> 00:19:01,009 I have some work to do to get us up to code. 500 00:19:01,011 --> 00:19:03,901 I think we're in for a rather rigorous fire inspection. 501 00:19:03,902 --> 00:19:07,322 (ponderous string music) 502 00:19:08,282 --> 00:19:11,512 (contemplative music) 503 00:19:11,506 --> 00:19:13,476 - (speaking in Arabic), Baber. 504 00:19:13,481 --> 00:19:15,461 (Baber speaks in Arabic) 505 00:19:15,459 --> 00:19:16,909 - What's wrong, brother? 506 00:19:16,909 --> 00:19:18,869 - (huffs) Daughters. 507 00:19:18,865 --> 00:19:20,045 - You and me, both. 508 00:19:20,052 --> 00:19:21,162 - Layla's hysterical. 509 00:19:21,156 --> 00:19:22,586 She's been crying for two days 510 00:19:22,589 --> 00:19:24,399 and it's all your daughter's fault. 511 00:19:24,402 --> 00:19:26,982 - Leave Rayyan out of this. 512 00:19:26,975 --> 00:19:29,935 She just broke up with her fireman. 513 00:19:29,937 --> 00:19:31,107 - She did? 514 00:19:31,107 --> 00:19:32,687 - It's devastating. 515 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,557 - How terrible. 516 00:19:36,558 --> 00:19:38,538 (Baber chuckling) 517 00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,874 Now I must go cancel Layla's flight to Michigan. 518 00:19:41,868 --> 00:19:43,678 - I hope she won't be disappointed. 519 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,203 - (laughing) She'll be devastated. (laughing) 520 00:19:46,202 --> 00:19:49,872 (contemplative flute music) 521 00:19:56,902 --> 00:19:58,792 - Guilty conscience? 522 00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:01,023 - Just so you know, I broke up with Jeff. 523 00:20:01,018 --> 00:20:03,518 And I'm sorry. You were right. 524 00:20:04,452 --> 00:20:06,702 I'll never date a non-Muslim again. 525 00:20:06,698 --> 00:20:09,558 - Hang on. What'd you just say? 526 00:20:09,558 --> 00:20:11,418 - I said I'll never date a non-Muslim again. 527 00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:12,917 - No, before that. 528 00:20:15,889 --> 00:20:18,139 - I said, "You were right." 529 00:20:19,024 --> 00:20:19,864 - Ah. 530 00:20:19,857 --> 00:20:22,757 - Islam is too important to me. 531 00:20:22,762 --> 00:20:24,432 - I'm glad you see that. 532 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:27,972 Jeff would have never understood. He's too shallow. 533 00:20:27,971 --> 00:20:32,971 - When did you have the opportunity to find him shallow? 534 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:36,325 - Oh, you know, it's a small town. 535 00:20:36,334 --> 00:20:39,524 You bump into people, shallow people. 536 00:20:39,524 --> 00:20:41,404 - Oh, come on. 537 00:20:41,404 --> 00:20:45,284 - Okay, I might've called the fire department. 538 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,070 You know, by mistake. 539 00:20:47,069 --> 00:20:52,069 - Oh, kind of like when I made the mistake of apologizing. 540 00:20:52,158 --> 00:20:54,258 - It is never a mistake to apologize. 541 00:20:54,261 --> 00:20:56,911 - Oh, well then let's hear you do it. 542 00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:57,990 - Okay. Fine. 543 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,441 - I'm sorry. 544 00:21:00,436 --> 00:21:01,266 - Thank you. 545 00:21:01,269 --> 00:21:03,199 - I'm sorry I care so much. 546 00:21:03,197 --> 00:21:04,357 - That's not an apology. 547 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,499 - I'm sorry you lost your way. 548 00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:08,138 - You're just giving me bad excuses. 549 00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:10,589 - I'm sorry nothing I ever say seems to work. 550 00:21:10,589 --> 00:21:11,979 - Oh, well that's obvious. 551 00:21:11,984 --> 00:21:13,824 - I am sorry I'm here. 552 00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:18,452 - Oh, well now we're getting somewhere. 553 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:21,735 And I am sorry that you're here too. 554 00:21:21,736 --> 00:21:23,036 (both chuckling) 555 00:21:23,037 --> 00:21:24,787 - Now you're just playing with me. 556 00:21:24,794 --> 00:21:27,144 - Oh, I'm not playing. I am dead serious. 557 00:21:27,144 --> 00:21:27,984 - Really? 558 00:21:27,977 --> 00:21:28,807 - Mm-hmm. - Then why are you smiling? 559 00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:30,730 - I'm not smiling. I'm growling. 560 00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:32,733 - Oh, I didn't hear you growling. 561 00:21:32,734 --> 00:21:34,484 - [Rayyan] Well, that's because (laughs) 562 00:21:34,475 --> 00:21:35,985 you never listen to me. 563 00:21:35,989 --> 00:21:37,499 - [Amaar] Oh, I never listen. 564 00:21:37,499 --> 00:21:39,209 Do you know, all I've ever done is listen. 565 00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:40,950 (music drowns out speaker) 566 00:21:40,945 --> 00:21:41,775 - [Rayyan] Well, good. 567 00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:43,068 And that's the only reason- 568 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:46,068 (singing in Arabic)