1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:04,320 - You better scrub that table until 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:06,370 grandma can see your reflection in it. 3 00:00:06,370 --> 00:00:08,970 - Do witches even have reflections? 4 00:00:08,973 --> 00:00:10,393 Hello! 5 00:00:10,390 --> 00:00:11,540 Guess who's here? 6 00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:15,220 - Careful with those bags, Yasir. 7 00:00:15,219 --> 00:00:19,239 Oh please, don't take any tumble on my account. 8 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,450 Good, you haven't. 9 00:00:20,450 --> 00:00:21,280 Yasir! 10 00:00:22,178 --> 00:00:24,758 - Mother Hamoudi, how was your flight? 11 00:00:24,755 --> 00:00:27,855 - Rayyan, so beautiful! 12 00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:30,070 You're looking more like me every day. 13 00:00:30,907 --> 00:00:31,787 - How's your heart? 14 00:00:31,785 --> 00:00:33,405 - Thank you for asking. 15 00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:34,680 Don't ask. 16 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,180 - Is there anything we can get you? 17 00:00:36,179 --> 00:00:39,389 Another big screen TV, another washer/dryer maybe? 18 00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:40,880 - You know, there is something. 19 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:41,710 - I knew it. 20 00:00:41,713 --> 00:00:42,553 You're hungry. 21 00:00:42,546 --> 00:00:43,496 - I brought my own food. 22 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,750 - But Sarah's been baking all day. 23 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,500 - No wonder you have lost weight. 24 00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:49,640 These are your favorite. 25 00:00:51,154 --> 00:00:52,964 - Lebanese donuts! 26 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,090 You just can't find anything like these around here. 27 00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:56,300 - Except donuts. 28 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:59,690 - Nobody makes awamat like your cousin, Samirah. 29 00:00:59,690 --> 00:01:01,550 - You should've married Samirah. 30 00:01:01,553 --> 00:01:03,773 - That's why I'm here. 31 00:01:03,770 --> 00:01:05,420 Her husband just died. 32 00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:08,600 That poor woman is all alone in the world now. 33 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:09,710 - I'm sorry, mama. 34 00:01:09,710 --> 00:01:11,140 I would marry Samirah, 35 00:01:11,140 --> 00:01:13,320 but I'm afraid Sarah won't give me a divorce. 36 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,343 Yasir! 37 00:01:15,340 --> 00:01:16,710 Don't be cruel. 38 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,500 You don't have to divorce Sarah. 39 00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:21,560 Samirah will be your second wife. 40 00:01:21,556 --> 00:01:22,386 - Huh? 41 00:01:58,582 --> 00:02:01,532 - She has really gone off the deep end this time. 42 00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:03,850 I mean, can you believe it, a second wife? 43 00:02:03,850 --> 00:02:05,170 - You gotta fight back. 44 00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:06,610 Find a second husband. 45 00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:09,940 - I mean, let Samirah marry some Lebanese guy. 46 00:02:09,937 --> 00:02:12,467 - Yasir is some Lebanese guy. 47 00:02:12,470 --> 00:02:14,190 - I mean, you should see Yasir with his mother. 48 00:02:14,187 --> 00:02:15,527 "Can I get you another cup of tea? 49 00:02:15,530 --> 00:02:17,100 Can I run you a bath? 50 00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,630 Can I rub your feet?" 51 00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:20,070 - Like a spa. 52 00:02:20,074 --> 00:02:22,354 Yasir wanna marry me? 53 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,180 - You know what, I am not talking about this anymore. 54 00:02:26,486 --> 00:02:27,886 You know what, then she had the nerve to 55 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:29,110 tell me I had skinny hair. 56 00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:30,110 Do I have skinny hair? 57 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:31,120 - Yeah, you do. 58 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:35,650 - Are you absolutely sure you wanna go through with this? 59 00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:37,610 Because we might get some flack. 60 00:02:37,608 --> 00:02:39,428 Mercy's a small town. 61 00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:40,600 - We're sure. 62 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,460 We'd even written our vowels in rhyming couplets. 63 00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:44,940 What do you think? 64 00:02:44,937 --> 00:02:47,757 "I promise to honor, but not obey, 65 00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:51,110 except on leather fetish day." 66 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,290 - Okay! 67 00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:57,450 Well, we'll see you Sunday. 68 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,485 - Great. 69 00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:00,110 - One wedding coming up. 70 00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:01,890 Reception and funeral to follow. 71 00:03:02,973 --> 00:03:03,813 - Bye bye. 72 00:03:03,806 --> 00:03:04,636 - Bye bye. 73 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,510 - You're not gonna marry two guys in my church. 74 00:03:12,510 --> 00:03:14,550 - Whatever happened to knock-knock, hello? 75 00:03:14,550 --> 00:03:16,750 - Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage, hello? 76 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:17,610 - Sanctity? 77 00:03:17,610 --> 00:03:19,650 You've been divorced three times. 78 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,850 - Who's forcing you to do this, that gay mafia? 79 00:03:24,850 --> 00:03:26,550 - Nobody's forcing me to do anything. 80 00:03:26,550 --> 00:03:28,990 This is entirely a matter of conscience. 81 00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:29,920 - You see, that makes no sense. 82 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,250 How can you have a conscience and be gay? 83 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,066 - You know, I appreciate lobby debate 84 00:03:34,070 --> 00:03:35,220 as much as the next man, 85 00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:37,590 even when the next man happens to be you, Joe. 86 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,410 - I've been talking to the people, Magee. 87 00:03:41,410 --> 00:03:43,180 You're gonna lose your congregation. 88 00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:45,440 - I hope not because at times like these, 89 00:03:45,439 --> 00:03:49,389 we all need to reach out to each other with understanding. 90 00:03:49,390 --> 00:03:52,280 - So, it's off then? 91 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,720 - No. 92 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,660 I'm gonna perform the ceremony this Sunday 93 00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:58,790 come hell or high water. 94 00:03:58,791 --> 00:04:01,061 - God can do both. 95 00:04:02,031 --> 00:04:02,861 - Boy! 96 00:04:02,864 --> 00:04:03,704 Where is the Imam? 97 00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:09,580 - That would be me. 98 00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:11,253 - You can't be the Imam. 99 00:04:11,246 --> 00:04:12,566 You don't even have a beard. 100 00:04:12,570 --> 00:04:13,400 - I do. 101 00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:15,283 It just usually shows up around five o'clock. 102 00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:18,560 What can I do for you, Sister? 103 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,920 - I need you to perform a marriage. 104 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,480 - How nice, finding love at your age. 105 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,870 - Not for me, for my son. 106 00:04:25,870 --> 00:04:27,500 - Because that invoice has already been paid. 107 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,330 Yes, absolutely. 108 00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:30,383 He's taking a second wife. 109 00:04:30,379 --> 00:04:32,499 - I have to go! 110 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:36,630 - Unfortunately, polygamy is illegal in this country. 111 00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:39,099 - It can be our little secret. 112 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,300 - I don't really like breaking the law, 113 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,490 unless of course it's those tags on those new pillows. 114 00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:44,640 Those are irresistible. 115 00:04:46,039 --> 00:04:48,589 - If the second marriage isn't registered, 116 00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,370 you're not breaking any laws. 117 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,530 - Maybe I should speak to your son about this. 118 00:04:53,530 --> 00:04:55,220 How can I get a hold of him? 119 00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:56,050 - What's wrong with you? 120 00:04:56,053 --> 00:04:57,743 His office, it's right over there. 121 00:04:58,896 --> 00:05:00,056 - You're Mother Hamoudi? 122 00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:01,110 - Well of course I am. 123 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:03,130 Who did you think I was? 124 00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:04,390 - I'm sorry. 125 00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:06,140 Welcome to our mosque. 126 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,009 Let's get back to business. 127 00:05:08,857 --> 00:05:09,827 - Yes. 128 00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:10,900 You must be so tired. 129 00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,220 Why don't I take your home? 130 00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:14,080 - Well, I'm not done arranging the wedding. 131 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:14,960 - I'll take care of that. 132 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:15,790 You wait in the car. 133 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,333 I'll be right there. 134 00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:18,700 - Well if that's what you want. 135 00:05:18,701 --> 00:05:19,531 Yes. 136 00:05:19,534 --> 00:05:20,374 Yes, yes. 137 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:24,180 - A second wife? 138 00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:26,610 Sarah's gonna be furious. 139 00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:27,830 - She's a very reasonable woman. 140 00:05:27,830 --> 00:05:30,570 She understands my mother is older and traditional. 141 00:05:30,570 --> 00:05:32,590 Yes, she's furious! 142 00:05:32,585 --> 00:05:34,465 What am I supposed to do? 143 00:05:34,466 --> 00:05:38,786 - Well, it's time to look inside your pant leg. 144 00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:39,690 - Hey. 145 00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:40,520 Where you going with this? 146 00:05:40,523 --> 00:05:44,973 - To find your foot to put it down. 147 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,520 - I couldn't agree more. 148 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,970 Yes. 149 00:05:47,970 --> 00:05:51,550 I'm just trying to find the right way to say no. 150 00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:53,080 - How about no? 151 00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:58,070 - Another muffin? 152 00:05:58,070 --> 00:05:59,480 - I'd never forgive myself. 153 00:06:00,630 --> 00:06:01,460 But Jesus will. 154 00:06:01,463 --> 00:06:02,453 Bring it on. 155 00:06:03,284 --> 00:06:05,894 - Magee, first you let the Muslims in, 156 00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:08,500 now two fruits are getting hitched at Mercy Anglican. 157 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,860 - I'm shocked. 158 00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:11,000 - You didn't know about this? 159 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:11,830 - I knew about it. 160 00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:14,003 I just had no idea you could read. 161 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,110 - Marriage is a sacred institution Rev 162 00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,580 and this isn't a front. 163 00:06:17,579 --> 00:06:19,239 Where's it all gonna end, huh? 164 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,430 - With peace and tolerance amongst all men. 165 00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,170 - Hippie. 166 00:06:25,066 --> 00:06:26,136 - Toodles. 167 00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:27,860 Thanks Patima. 168 00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:28,690 Ick. 169 00:06:30,361 --> 00:06:32,631 - You have to choose between her and me. 170 00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:34,960 - Darling, you know that you're the only one for me 171 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,400 and even if I were to marry Samirah, 172 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,240 I'd only ever think about- 173 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,170 - Not Samirah, your mother! 174 00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:41,130 Do not make light of this. 175 00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:42,630 End it now. 176 00:06:42,630 --> 00:06:43,460 - I will. 177 00:06:48,015 --> 00:06:49,355 You mean now, now? 178 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,360 - I don't mean after your wedding now. 179 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,190 - Right. 180 00:06:53,193 --> 00:06:54,913 I'm gonna go home for lunch right now 181 00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:57,730 and it's the very first thing I'm going to say to her. 182 00:06:57,730 --> 00:07:00,970 Mama, let me make you a nice sandwich. 183 00:07:00,970 --> 00:07:03,080 I'll cut the tomato just like you like it. 184 00:07:03,081 --> 00:07:04,351 Thin, thin, thin. 185 00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:07,210 - Samirah would cook for you. 186 00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:10,850 Her couscous is heavenly, taste like angel droppings. 187 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,330 - My favorite type of dropping. 188 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:18,273 Mama, I have something I need to tell you. 189 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,140 I can't marry her. 190 00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:25,000 - What? 191 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,360 You already have three wives I don't know about? 192 00:07:27,355 --> 00:07:28,185 - No. 193 00:07:28,188 --> 00:07:29,678 - Then it's allowed. 194 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:34,160 - But it's my life and I should be able to decide. 195 00:07:36,535 --> 00:07:37,365 - Mama! 196 00:07:37,368 --> 00:07:38,198 - Oh the pain! 197 00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:39,251 - Mama, mama! - The pain! 198 00:07:39,245 --> 00:07:40,075 - Help! 199 00:07:40,078 --> 00:07:40,908 Help! 200 00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:47,920 - You're fine. 201 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,360 We could foxtrot to the beat of your heart. 202 00:07:50,358 --> 00:07:52,228 I have been watching way too much 203 00:07:52,227 --> 00:07:54,237 "Dancing with the Stars" lately. 204 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,550 - After I die, I don't want your mother washing my body. 205 00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,000 - I'm sure she'll be heartbroken, 206 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,700 but you're not going to die. 207 00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:05,350 You're just suffering from a little indigestion. 208 00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:06,500 - You're protecting me. 209 00:08:10,243 --> 00:08:12,053 - Is she really going to be okay? 210 00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:13,280 - She's gonna outlive us both. 211 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,380 - Even if it kills us? 212 00:08:17,056 --> 00:08:18,296 ♪ Fred Tupper ♪ 213 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:20,451 - So, they're performing gay marriages 214 00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:21,700 over at Mercy Anglican. 215 00:08:22,531 --> 00:08:24,751 Our Lady of the Holy Fruit. 216 00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:28,360 What kind of man performs a gay marriage anyway? 217 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,100 Someone very intimate, pun fully intended, 218 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,370 with a gay lifestyle? 219 00:08:33,370 --> 00:08:35,380 Who knows what other secrets are lurking 220 00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:37,200 in the closets of Mercy Anglican. 221 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,820 - Listen to that. 222 00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:40,670 He hates gays and Muslims and we thought 223 00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:41,920 he was one trick pony. 224 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,200 - You sure you wanna do this? 225 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,300 - I baptized Johnny. 226 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,920 Turn my back on him now would be a sin. 227 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,490 What would you do? 228 00:08:47,490 --> 00:08:48,790 - This is definitely outside the 229 00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:50,290 Muslim definition of marriage. 230 00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:54,770 - Amaar, you must call Magee this very instant. 231 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,430 Well done. 232 00:08:57,433 --> 00:08:59,923 Now tell him that a Muslim congregation 233 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:03,520 cannot share a building with a tutti fruity priest! 234 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,530 - Marrying two men does not make me gay, 235 00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:06,900 it doesn't even make me that happy, 236 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,760 but it seems like the right thing to do. 237 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,880 - Don't make us give you your notice. 238 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,530 - Baber, you're forgetting. 239 00:09:12,530 --> 00:09:14,780 We're the tenants, he's the landlord. 240 00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:18,420 - Well, then we will have to give ourselves our notice. 241 00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:20,460 - Well when you two figure it out, let me know. 242 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,900 I'll be in my office. 243 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:22,990 - Look, we're not gonna leave. 244 00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:23,960 And even if we wanted you, 245 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,300 you wouldn't be able to find a mosque. 246 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,630 It took Yasir a year to find this place. 247 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:29,070 - Yasir is lazy! 248 00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:31,820 I can find us a mosque just like that. 249 00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:39,010 - What can I get you today, Johnny? 250 00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:40,460 - I wanna order some curry. 251 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,290 - Coming up. 252 00:09:41,293 --> 00:09:42,133 - Oh, no, no. 253 00:09:42,126 --> 00:09:43,886 It's for my wedding reception. 254 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:49,990 - I'll cater the marriage once you find a nice girl. 255 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,570 - Fatima, color me shocked. 256 00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:54,140 I thought you got over the whole homo thing 257 00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,240 by your second aqua fit class. 258 00:09:56,241 --> 00:09:59,921 - I like you, but there are rules I cannot break. 259 00:10:01,155 --> 00:10:02,205 - Oh well. 260 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,740 If that's the way it's gonna be, 261 00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:05,920 I guess I'll have to go to the Mercy Diner. 262 00:10:06,751 --> 00:10:08,251 - For curry? 263 00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:09,830 - Well, it's not as good as yours, 264 00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:12,420 but if we can't have the best. 265 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,860 - I don't approve of homosexuality, 266 00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:19,990 but I hate the Mercy Diner. 267 00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:21,930 I'll get you a menu by the end of the day. 268 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:23,590 - I love you, Fatima. 269 00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:27,300 If that's allowed by grumpy old Islam. 270 00:10:31,443 --> 00:10:34,173 - How are you today, Mother Hamoudi? 271 00:10:34,168 --> 00:10:38,018 - The pain in the hip help me forget the pain in the knee. 272 00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:40,080 How nice of you to ask. 273 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,160 - I am always there for you, Mother Hamoudi. 274 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:49,220 - Wait a minute, why are you being so nice to me? 275 00:10:49,223 --> 00:10:51,753 - I don't understand why you're being so nice to me. 276 00:10:51,745 --> 00:10:53,105 - My two favorite- 277 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,790 - You haven't told her yet, have you? 278 00:10:55,790 --> 00:10:58,430 - I'm working up to it. 279 00:10:59,816 --> 00:11:01,556 - Yasir's marrying Samirah. 280 00:11:01,557 --> 00:11:02,837 - Yasir! 281 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,760 - I told her, but then she had a mild heart attack. 282 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,200 - Well then tell her again, finish the job. 283 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,760 - Yasir's the man of the house. 284 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:12,890 He's made up his mind! 285 00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:14,730 - Mama, I haven't decided anything yet. 286 00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:16,383 - What is there to decide? 287 00:11:17,215 --> 00:11:18,045 - Sarah, you know I love you. 288 00:11:18,048 --> 00:11:18,878 - No! 289 00:11:18,881 --> 00:11:19,711 - Please, don't walk out on me now! 290 00:11:19,714 --> 00:11:20,554 Sarah don't! 291 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,377 No! 292 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,210 No Sarah! 293 00:11:22,213 --> 00:11:23,053 No! 294 00:11:23,879 --> 00:11:26,049 - Some people just can't take no for an answer. 295 00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:32,600 - Hi. 296 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,560 - I love an office with that lived-in look. 297 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,390 - Sorry. 298 00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,803 I had to sleep here. 299 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:40,940 - Wife number two's night? 300 00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:41,770 - No, no, no. 301 00:11:41,773 --> 00:11:43,463 I put an end to that polygamy nonsense. 302 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:44,800 I'm out. 303 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,450 - At last. 304 00:11:46,450 --> 00:11:49,390 I never thought that whole Muslim thing was working for you. 305 00:11:49,390 --> 00:11:51,790 - No, Ann, I'm still a Muslim. 306 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,830 - Which is wonderful because it's your faith 307 00:11:56,830 --> 00:12:00,040 and you believe in it and it's...it's good stuff. 308 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,780 But seriously, 309 00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:04,650 how long are you gonna be sleeping in my office? 310 00:12:04,649 --> 00:12:06,969 - 'Til Yasir stands up to his mother. 311 00:12:06,970 --> 00:12:08,970 - Good thing I'm running for a third term. 312 00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:10,720 - Yes, that's right. 313 00:12:10,723 --> 00:12:12,373 We want to rent a hall. 314 00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:13,570 For a mosque. 315 00:12:14,540 --> 00:12:15,370 No, no, no. 316 00:12:15,373 --> 00:12:17,073 Not mask, mosque. 317 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,550 Where Muslims worship Allah. 318 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:20,570 Hello? 319 00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:23,460 Price is right and I like the neighborhood. 320 00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:24,290 The garage? 321 00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:25,133 Well that's okay. 322 00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:28,020 We have to share it with your band? 323 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,800 What is it? 324 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,090 Upstairs from adult XXX video? 325 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,030 Perhaps you could tell me something. 326 00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:41,060 I've always wondered do the X's stand for hugs or kisses? 327 00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:47,680 - What's happen to reason? 328 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,670 Why should taking a second wife cause so much bother? 329 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,590 - Polygamy is a dying tradition. 330 00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:54,200 - Even in countries where it's legal, 331 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,740 very few Muslim men take a second wife. 332 00:12:56,740 --> 00:13:00,350 - Seriously, how many wives did your husband have? 333 00:13:01,184 --> 00:13:02,964 - I was more than enough for my husband. 334 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,630 - Yes, I can believe that, grandma. 335 00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:07,050 - Yasir's special. 336 00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,800 He needs a real wife. 337 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:09,940 - Grandma. 338 00:13:09,935 --> 00:13:12,645 - Sarah is not my favorite person. 339 00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:16,020 She's a bad Muslim, a lousy mother. 340 00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:17,560 - Do you have a point here? 341 00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:22,370 - But, she is the only wife for Yasir. 342 00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:24,900 - Thank you, Fatima. 343 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,120 - What's wrong with you two? 344 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,820 Are you feminists? 345 00:13:30,330 --> 00:13:33,380 Finally, a Muslim man that looks like a Muslim man. 346 00:13:33,381 --> 00:13:35,651 - Baber, you remember my grandmother? 347 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:37,980 - Sister Hamoudi! 348 00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:40,070 Did you fly here by time machine because 349 00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:43,847 you look so much younger than the last time I saw you. 350 00:13:43,846 --> 00:13:46,106 - Slow down, Romeo. 351 00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,950 First we'll get my son married, 352 00:13:47,949 --> 00:13:49,929 then you and I will talk. 353 00:13:49,927 --> 00:13:53,097 - No, no, I am not looking for a wife. 354 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,670 I was looking for a new mosque. 355 00:13:54,670 --> 00:13:56,270 - What's wrong with the one we have? 356 00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:59,670 - We can't have a mosque in a church full of drag queers! 357 00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:00,700 - It's queens. 358 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,330 It's drag queens. 359 00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:05,060 - Whatever they are, we have to protest! 360 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,480 I need your help, Fatima. 361 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,420 - I can't. 362 00:14:07,419 --> 00:14:10,039 I'm serving the food at the wedding. 363 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,690 - You're catering this abomination? 364 00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:14,000 That's an abomination! 365 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,800 - Good food is a point of pride at a wedding. 366 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,790 - Gay pride. 367 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,220 It should be gay ashamed! 368 00:14:27,570 --> 00:14:30,030 - Am I in a parallel universe? 369 00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:31,570 You're praying. 370 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:32,400 What's wrong? 371 00:14:34,685 --> 00:14:37,165 - The love of my life since I was 20 372 00:14:37,169 --> 00:14:39,879 walked out on me for no good reason. 373 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,990 - Other than the extra toothbrush 374 00:14:41,990 --> 00:14:44,420 that's moving into your bathroom. 375 00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,670 - All right, all right. 376 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,770 How am I gonna get out of this? 377 00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:51,090 - The Quran has a perfect solution for you. 378 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:53,110 Say no to your mother. 379 00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:54,630 - Fair enough, yes. 380 00:14:54,630 --> 00:14:55,940 That's an excellent plan B. 381 00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:57,140 Now what about a plan A? 382 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,350 - Too bad you and Sarah didn't have a prenuptial agreement 383 00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:02,430 excluding polygamy. 384 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,420 - We could draw one up right now. 385 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:07,750 You could dig deep into that ex-lawyer brain of yours 386 00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:10,550 and dream up some Latin mumbo jumbo. 387 00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:15,270 - Here's some Latin mumbo jumbo for you, pre means before. 388 00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:17,110 The law isn't retroactive. 389 00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:19,250 - Not even Islamic law? 390 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,030 - Especially not Islamic law. 391 00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:25,410 - And now, Mercy Anglican, 392 00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:27,880 the same institution that welcomed terrorists 393 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,100 is opening its back door to yet another evil, 394 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:34,517 an evil that could very well undermine our way of life, 395 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,240 queer marriage. 396 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,860 Wake up, people! 397 00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:41,210 Now let's go to our live coverage down in the legion 398 00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:43,770 where we're raising funds for the neuter a cat 399 00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:45,410 for a kid who can't campaign. 400 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,450 - If you want a sign, you take it from there. 401 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,360 Oh, it's you. 402 00:15:54,363 --> 00:15:56,353 Can I help you with something? 403 00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:58,980 - We heard you were planning a demonstration on Sunday? 404 00:15:58,980 --> 00:16:00,790 - Yes, against the abomination. 405 00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:03,449 - Thought it was against gay marriage. 406 00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:04,280 - Yes, gay marriage. 407 00:16:04,283 --> 00:16:06,373 I just like saying abomination. 408 00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:09,980 - Abomination. 409 00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:11,600 Me too. 410 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:12,480 - Abomination. 411 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,900 - Abomination. 412 00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,430 - Abomination. 413 00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:16,480 - Abomination. 414 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,540 - Very good. 415 00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:20,260 - Like the first two times. 416 00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:21,090 - Abomination. 417 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,170 - Yasir. 418 00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:55,841 Drinking tea from your inbox, is that a Lebanese tradition? 419 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,950 - It's just a little experiment. 420 00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:04,347 - Pre-marriage contract. 421 00:17:04,350 --> 00:17:06,150 Yasir, this is deceitful. 422 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,560 I can't be a part of this. 423 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,390 - Fine. 424 00:17:08,393 --> 00:17:09,593 But as long as you don't tell anyone. 425 00:17:09,590 --> 00:17:11,790 It's Imam-client privilege. 426 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,100 - Hey mom. 427 00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,330 - Oh hi! 428 00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:20,343 - I brought what you asked for, 429 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,780 but I think you should come home. 430 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:22,705 - Thank you, darling. 431 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:24,500 Let's see. 432 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,340 Fresh undies. 433 00:17:26,340 --> 00:17:28,440 Jammies, shampoo. 434 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,460 What's missing? 435 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:31,240 Oh yes, your father and his mother. 436 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,070 Perfect! 437 00:17:32,073 --> 00:17:32,913 - Come on, mom. 438 00:17:32,910 --> 00:17:35,960 He'll stand up to her, eventually. 439 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,790 - And I'll come home, eventually. 440 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,280 - I thought you were going home tonight, 441 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,540 she asked hopefully. 442 00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:42,690 - I never said that. 443 00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:44,150 - So say it now. 444 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,460 - She's right, mom. 445 00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:46,820 You should go home to dad. 446 00:17:46,820 --> 00:17:48,010 He loves you. 447 00:17:48,839 --> 00:17:51,199 - Unless, you wanna stay at my house. 448 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,260 Go ahead. 449 00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:53,450 Leave your husband. 450 00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:54,910 Just like I did. 451 00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:57,680 And neither of us will have sex ever again! 452 00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:00,660 - Okay, fine. 453 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:01,503 You win. 454 00:18:01,496 --> 00:18:03,246 I'll go home, but he's on the couch. 455 00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:05,910 - Have you seen these? 456 00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:09,260 We'll give them something to protest. 457 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,070 - You're a great man, Reverend Magee, 458 00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:14,460 but we've talked and we can't let you do this. 459 00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:15,290 - What do you mean? 460 00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:16,693 I haven't been this pumped up for a brawl 461 00:18:16,690 --> 00:18:19,620 since we took on the Franciscan Flyers into field hockey. 462 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,600 - I'm sorry. 463 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,800 We've made up our minds. 464 00:18:22,741 --> 00:18:25,331 - Love is worth fighting for. 465 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,030 You can't cancel the wedding. 466 00:18:27,029 --> 00:18:29,189 - No, we're not canceling it. 467 00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:30,650 We're having it in Toronto. 468 00:18:30,647 --> 00:18:34,927 We found this fabulous church, spa and massage included. 469 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,110 - Toronto? 470 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,550 You people are all alike. 471 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,080 I'm so sorry. 472 00:18:42,916 --> 00:18:43,946 - I understand. 473 00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:46,930 Hating Toronto can cloud anyone's judgment. 474 00:18:46,930 --> 00:18:47,760 Come on, honey. 475 00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:49,460 - Bye bye. 476 00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:55,810 - I'm very sorry mama, but it's all there in the prenuptial. 477 00:18:57,030 --> 00:18:58,250 - It smells! 478 00:18:59,087 --> 00:19:00,497 - I had it in my sock drawer. 479 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:01,540 - Like earl gray! 480 00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:05,450 - Next to some teabags, but that puts and end to it. 481 00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:07,140 I can't marry Samirah. 482 00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:09,880 - Thank you, Yasir. 483 00:19:09,877 --> 00:19:11,307 - You came back to me. 484 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,510 - Yasir. 485 00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:15,570 - Come on. 486 00:19:15,568 --> 00:19:16,418 Let's go for a walk. 487 00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:17,630 - You're a doctor. 488 00:19:17,630 --> 00:19:19,530 Can you walk when your heart has been broken 489 00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:22,920 into a million pieces, scattered into the dirt, 490 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,940 spat on and then kicked into the gutter? 491 00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:28,400 - As long as you wear sensible shoes, yes. 492 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,590 Come on. 493 00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:49,220 - I told you, they went to Toronto. 494 00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:50,310 - Thank you. 495 00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:52,200 - You're just saying that to throw us off their scent. 496 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,470 Their perfume scent, huh. 497 00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:54,750 - Actually, that's me. 498 00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:57,760 This month's "Jogging Today" had a cologne sample. 499 00:19:57,759 --> 00:20:00,309 - You should go, and take your signs with you. 500 00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:02,130 Every litter bit hurts. 501 00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:03,720 - There's really nobody inside? 502 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,970 - Baber, I wish I could tell you the church was 503 00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:07,657 filled with gay people. 504 00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:09,170 - He really does. 505 00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:11,610 - This is stupid! 506 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:12,830 I'm going home. 507 00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:15,840 Joe, there'll be other days, other sinners. 508 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,670 - Come on. 509 00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:17,513 I'll buy you a beer. 510 00:20:17,506 --> 00:20:18,336 - Muslim. 511 00:20:18,339 --> 00:20:19,379 - You can buy me a beer! 512 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,660 - That looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 513 00:20:36,623 --> 00:20:39,733 - Darling, you bake, I get excited. 514 00:20:41,660 --> 00:20:42,760 Now. 515 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:43,590 Look. 516 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,550 See? 517 00:20:45,553 --> 00:20:46,393 Empty. 518 00:20:46,386 --> 00:20:47,216 Empty. 519 00:20:47,219 --> 00:20:49,319 No other wives. 520 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:50,930 Aren't you sorry you ever doubted me? 521 00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:53,580 - Well sometimes I'm sorry I married you, 522 00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:55,960 like when I read this. 523 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:57,920 - Yes. 524 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,523 I drew that up because, of course, 525 00:20:59,515 --> 00:21:02,285 I knew it would close the issue forever. 526 00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:03,134 - Calm down, calm down. 527 00:21:03,127 --> 00:21:05,267 I read the contract and it's not bad. 528 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,270 - I knew you'd understand. 529 00:21:07,270 --> 00:21:08,890 - I even added a few clauses. 530 00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:09,720 - I see. 531 00:21:09,723 --> 00:21:11,273 Yes. 532 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,260 Anything for you, darling. 533 00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:13,800 For you, laundry every week. 534 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:14,860 - Non-negotiable. 535 00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:15,860 - Cleaning out the garage. 536 00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:17,120 But everything in the garage has a use. 537 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,010 - No, no, non-negotiable. 538 00:21:19,007 --> 00:21:20,527 - Chick flick Fridays. 539 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,659 - We're gonna start with "The Notebook". 540 00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:26,570 - This last clause. 541 00:21:26,572 --> 00:21:27,842 - You're not up to it? 542 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,290 - I think it might need some practice, darling. 543 00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,490 To get it right. 544 00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:34,370 - Well then you better get right on it, then. 545 00:21:34,366 --> 00:21:35,196 - Right now? 546 00:21:36,032 --> 00:21:38,352 - After all darling, a contract is a contract.