1 00:00:07,450 --> 00:00:08,280 - Brother Amaar, 2 00:00:08,283 --> 00:00:11,813 that was a wonderful sermon, just wonderful. 3 00:00:11,810 --> 00:00:12,980 - Yasir, I'm so glad you like it. 4 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,080 What was your favorite part? 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,190 - The end bit, the ending bit. 6 00:00:16,191 --> 00:00:18,551 - Sarah, Rayyan. Did you enjoy the sermon? 7 00:00:18,554 --> 00:00:20,754 What you could hear over Yasir snoring. 8 00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:24,070 - Sleeping allows your words to penetrate my subconscious. 9 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,126 - Well, then you must have that opera 10 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,375 I took you to last week completely memorized. 11 00:00:28,382 --> 00:00:29,932 - My darling, she's my favorite spin doctor. 12 00:00:29,932 --> 00:00:33,352 - Yasir, try to be truthful. You're in a mosque. 13 00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:35,040 - That he rented in a church 14 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,090 to get free office space, mind you. 15 00:00:36,093 --> 00:00:40,603 - Nonsense. Muslim first, businessman, second, second. 16 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,440 Excuse me. 17 00:00:41,439 --> 00:00:42,819 - Oh, got to run. 18 00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:44,280 Hot tubs don't install themselves, you know. 19 00:00:44,281 --> 00:00:45,121 - Bye. 20 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,800 - Sarah, who is that? 21 00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:50,900 - Oh, right. 'Cause white people all know each other. 22 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,740 - I thought that maybe you've seen him at the bowling alley, 23 00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:55,990 bingo, or some other Western Denver's 24 00:00:55,991 --> 00:00:56,821 - Baber. 25 00:00:58,420 --> 00:01:00,630 Hello. I'm Amaar. 26 00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:04,680 The imam of this mosque. An imam is like a priest. 27 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,760 - I know, I heard your khutbah. 28 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:07,590 - I'm Marlon. 29 00:01:07,593 --> 00:01:09,283 - Wow. Arabic. That's impressive. 30 00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:12,206 - Well, I'm very serious about converting to Islam. 31 00:01:12,210 --> 00:01:14,230 - Isn't that wonderful? 32 00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:15,330 - A convert. 33 00:01:15,330 --> 00:01:16,510 - I am Baber. 34 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,430 - Hello? I'm right here. I'm a convert too. 35 00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:20,920 - Yes, but he's serious. 36 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,020 - Hi, I'm Sarah. 37 00:01:22,020 --> 00:01:22,850 - Hi. 38 00:01:22,853 --> 00:01:24,013 - That's wonderful, Marlon. 39 00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:27,510 - What a blessing. Our first real convert. 40 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:03,620 - Can you believe Baber 41 00:02:03,619 --> 00:02:06,129 suggesting I don't take Islam seriously? 42 00:02:06,130 --> 00:02:06,960 - Come on, mom. 43 00:02:06,963 --> 00:02:08,123 It's not like you pray five times a day. 44 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,400 - Well, it's not that I don't want to. 45 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,230 - It's just 46 00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:12,403 that you don't want to. 47 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,280 - No, I am very busy. 48 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,480 - Busy not praying? 49 00:02:16,416 --> 00:02:18,676 - I can so be a good Muslim. 50 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,820 In fact, you know, I will even bet you. 51 00:02:19,819 --> 00:02:21,759 - Muslims don't gamble, mom. 52 00:02:21,763 --> 00:02:23,353 - Pinky shake, then. 53 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:27,031 - Okay. Five prayers a day, for a whole week. 54 00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:29,460 - A week? Honey, I will go you a month. 55 00:02:32,959 --> 00:02:34,179 - Do I need to make a wish? 56 00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:36,730 - Mom's going to pray five times a day for a month. 57 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:39,000 - I thought she said 58 00:02:38,998 --> 00:02:41,268 that you would be praying five times a day for a month. 59 00:02:41,265 --> 00:02:44,185 - Honey, bring me my prayer mat. 60 00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:45,940 - Prayer mat? Do you even own a pr- 61 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:49,920 Yes, my precious. Your prayer mat. 62 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:50,870 I'll be right back. 63 00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:54,250 - Okay. This will help you keep on schedule. 64 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,200 It goes off five times a day in Arabic. 65 00:02:57,128 --> 00:02:58,498 - Well, it's just not something 66 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,140 you'd want to take through airport security. 67 00:03:01,135 --> 00:03:01,965 How does it work? 68 00:03:01,968 --> 00:03:02,798 - Press that. 69 00:03:02,801 --> 00:03:04,211 - For your prayers, darling. 70 00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:06,651 - On that thing? 71 00:03:06,647 --> 00:03:09,937 - Assume the position of faith. 72 00:03:09,937 --> 00:03:10,767 Are you facing northeast? 73 00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,050 - Um, let me see. Our bedroom faces south. 74 00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:15,670 So, no, I have to move it this way. 75 00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:18,300 - Our bedroom faces southeast. 76 00:03:18,303 --> 00:03:19,143 - Oh 77 00:03:19,136 --> 00:03:20,286 Oh yeah. 78 00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:21,370 - Are we related? 79 00:03:21,370 --> 00:03:23,140 I want a DNA test. 80 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:23,970 - No, no, no, no, no, no. 81 00:03:23,973 --> 00:03:24,933 It's south, southeast. 82 00:03:24,930 --> 00:03:26,470 - It's southeast. Yes, yes. 83 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,437 - Yeah. 84 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,500 - I'll pick you up a copy 85 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,960 of Islam for dummies on my way home. 86 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:32,932 - That's not very nice. 87 00:03:32,932 --> 00:03:33,772 - Yeah. 88 00:03:33,765 --> 00:03:34,595 - Okay off you go, darling. 89 00:03:34,598 --> 00:03:35,428 This is right. 90 00:03:35,431 --> 00:03:36,261 - No, I can do it. I can do it. 91 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,980 - More, please. 92 00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:40,220 I love Turkey bacon. 93 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,510 - Shh! The regulars think it's pork. 94 00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:46,330 - May I please have another serving 95 00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:48,340 of the cloven hoofed swine? 96 00:03:50,253 --> 00:03:52,393 - As-salaamu Alaikum, my friend. 97 00:03:52,390 --> 00:03:54,370 - Ah, Wa 'alaykumu s-salam. 98 00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:56,090 - Are these your beautiful children? 99 00:03:56,086 --> 00:03:57,806 - No, we're not together. 100 00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:58,660 - The boy is Fatima's 101 00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:00,070 - The female is mine. 102 00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:01,690 - The female? 103 00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:03,890 - So, you two are divorced? 104 00:04:03,889 --> 00:04:07,489 - Oh, no, no. My husband passed on. 105 00:04:07,493 --> 00:04:09,353 Baber's wife passed on Baber. 106 00:04:10,574 --> 00:04:13,204 - I notice your daughter doesn't wear the hijab. 107 00:04:14,670 --> 00:04:17,990 - Um, the wind was very strong today 108 00:04:17,993 --> 00:04:20,013 and it must have blown off. 109 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:23,410 - For the ninth-zillionth time, I'm not wearing it. 110 00:04:23,410 --> 00:04:26,010 - Teenagers, it's her hormones. 111 00:04:26,005 --> 00:04:27,195 - Dad! 112 00:04:27,204 --> 00:04:28,314 Gross! 113 00:04:28,307 --> 00:04:30,637 - Why don't you lay down the law? 114 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,850 - Why don't you mind your own business? 115 00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:35,270 - I was talking to brother Barber, sister. 116 00:04:35,271 --> 00:04:37,281 - I am not your sister. 117 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,327 - Perhaps we could continue this talk, 118 00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:41,330 man to man, at my house? 119 00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:44,340 We could quiz each other on Quranic verses, huh? 120 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:46,000 - That would be great. 121 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,160 There's a few choice versus I could stump you on. 122 00:04:48,161 --> 00:04:49,611 - Don't be so sure, buddy. 123 00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:51,100 - As-Salaam-Alaikum, Marlon. 124 00:04:51,096 --> 00:04:52,926 I'd like you to come by the mosque later 125 00:04:52,930 --> 00:04:54,300 for your conversion. 126 00:04:54,297 --> 00:04:57,207 - The Shahada. Excellent. 127 00:04:57,210 --> 00:04:58,100 Allahu Akbar! 128 00:04:59,638 --> 00:05:00,638 - How joyous. 129 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,600 At this rate, 130 00:05:01,596 --> 00:05:04,786 we'll convert every white person in town to Islam. 131 00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:08,320 - Indoor voice, Baber. 132 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:09,150 - Sorry. 133 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,830 - Jesus, Mary and Joseph. 134 00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:20,600 - Oh, oh. I'm sorry, Ann. 135 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,400 I was, I was just praying. 136 00:05:22,403 --> 00:05:23,833 - Wow. 137 00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:26,700 You and Yasir must've been extra naughty this weekend. 138 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,100 - No, it's not that. 139 00:05:28,104 --> 00:05:30,364 Although, there was this one thing 140 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:34,090 where he was a TV repairman and I was dressed as- 141 00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:35,880 I'm sorry. What are we talking about? 142 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:36,870 - Praying. 143 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:37,700 - Oh yeah. 144 00:05:37,703 --> 00:05:38,543 Well, see, 145 00:05:38,536 --> 00:05:40,356 I'm just trying to take Islam a little more seriously. 146 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,720 - Great. Take it out by your desk. 147 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,990 Seriously. 148 00:05:43,990 --> 00:05:45,110 - It's so open out there. 149 00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:46,930 I can't, I can't pray in front of everybody. 150 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,000 - Fine. 151 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,620 I will respect your constitutional right 152 00:05:49,618 --> 00:05:51,638 to religious expression. 153 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,200 Just don't let it happen again. 154 00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:02,060 Could you, how can I put this nicely? 155 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:04,040 Your Muslim moon is on the rise. 156 00:06:04,037 --> 00:06:04,867 - What? 157 00:06:04,870 --> 00:06:05,700 No, no. 158 00:06:05,703 --> 00:06:08,443 Let me just move my desk, shall I? 159 00:06:08,443 --> 00:06:09,283 - No, no. 160 00:06:09,276 --> 00:06:10,926 Listen, I will just move the mat. 161 00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:13,880 A little bit more to the west. 162 00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:22,141 - I bear witness that there is no God but God, 163 00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:23,800 and Muhammad is his messenger. 164 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,290 - And that completes the Shahada. 165 00:06:30,510 --> 00:06:31,340 - Takbir. 166 00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:33,440 - Allahu Akbar. 167 00:06:34,665 --> 00:06:35,545 - Takbir. 168 00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:36,580 - Allahu Akbar. 169 00:06:36,579 --> 00:06:37,409 - Takbir. 170 00:06:37,412 --> 00:06:38,672 - Allahu Akbar! 171 00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:39,937 Allahu Akbar! 172 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,132 Allahu Akbar! 173 00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:42,235 Allahu Akbar! 174 00:06:42,242 --> 00:06:43,082 Allahu Akbar! 175 00:06:43,075 --> 00:06:44,675 - Easy, easy, papi. 176 00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:50,280 - Well, uh, I have an economics class to teach. So- 177 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:51,440 - Well, right now? 178 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,790 I was hoping we could chat. 179 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,810 - Who else is going to teach my students 180 00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:57,720 how the West exploits Muslims, huh? 181 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,210 - Those satanic Western dogs need to be taught less lesson 182 00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:01,540 they will never forget. 183 00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:04,710 - You let me know what that lesson is 184 00:07:04,714 --> 00:07:07,284 and I'll put it on my next exam. 185 00:07:07,278 --> 00:07:08,728 As-salaamu Alaikum. 186 00:07:08,726 --> 00:07:10,396 - Wa 'alaykumu s-salam 187 00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:13,700 - Wa 'alaykumu s-salam 188 00:07:13,696 --> 00:07:15,416 I got to get me one of those. 189 00:07:17,010 --> 00:07:18,590 - I didn't know you were still here. 190 00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:22,220 Too bad you didn't invite anyone to the ceremony. 191 00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:23,640 - My parents disowned me. 192 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:27,674 - Yeah. Well, my parents aren't thrilled with me either. 193 00:07:27,669 --> 00:07:29,459 Thank God for my friends. 194 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:31,240 - I don't have any friends. 195 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,620 - Oh, um. 196 00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:36,490 Well, at least you have Allah. 197 00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:39,830 You're a credit to the faith. Marlon. 198 00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:40,930 - Well between you and me, 199 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,807 Sarah and Yasir don't take Islam very seriously. 200 00:07:43,814 --> 00:07:46,444 And Baber can't get his daughter to wear the hijab. 201 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,510 - Marlon, uh, gossip is a sin in Islam. 202 00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:55,660 - Yes. There are many gossips in this congregation. 203 00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:56,890 Perhaps we can talk more about them 204 00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:58,170 if we spend a day together. 205 00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:01,397 - Oh, well, actually I was gonna to catch a show. 206 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,100 - Y-You're going to see a movie? 207 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:07,320 - Yeah. Unless Phantom's coming to town. 208 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,630 - Isn't that a sin? 209 00:08:08,630 --> 00:08:09,960 - Well, there's only that one good tune, 210 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,350 but that's hardly a sin. 211 00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,510 - I meant all the Western decadence. 212 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:16,580 - I know what you meant. 213 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:17,410 Gotta fly. 214 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,253 Let's go 215 00:08:20,318 --> 00:08:21,518 - See you later, Marlon. 216 00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:27,000 - Who's the kid? 217 00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,931 - A new convert. A bit over the top. 218 00:08:29,929 --> 00:08:32,679 Any advice on dampening religious enthusiasm? 219 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,340 - Join the clergy. 220 00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:35,590 Just kidding. 221 00:08:35,590 --> 00:08:36,430 Oh, let's go. 222 00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:39,139 I don't want to miss one minute of Halle Berry. 223 00:08:54,384 --> 00:08:55,224 - Is it morning? 224 00:08:55,217 --> 00:08:56,617 - No, no, no. Go back to sleep. 225 00:08:56,618 --> 00:08:57,718 - Oh, it's hammer time? 226 00:08:57,724 --> 00:08:58,564 - No, not that. 227 00:08:58,557 --> 00:09:00,257 I have to pray. Go back to sleep. 228 00:09:14,356 --> 00:09:15,276 Oh! 229 00:09:15,277 --> 00:09:17,587 Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry. 230 00:09:17,589 --> 00:09:19,339 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 231 00:09:25,295 --> 00:09:27,665 - You're sure all your meat is halal? 232 00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:31,693 - There's no halal shop in Mercy. 233 00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:33,430 It's from the kosher butcher. 234 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,080 - You should stop patronizing Jewish businesses. 235 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,200 - And you should stop patronizing me. 236 00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:42,550 - As-salamu alaykum, Marlon. 237 00:09:42,550 --> 00:09:44,930 - Wa 'alaykumu s-salam, Rayyan. 238 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:47,530 Finally, a real Muslim. 239 00:09:47,530 --> 00:09:50,910 - Yeah. Walks, talks and prays. 240 00:09:50,910 --> 00:09:52,280 Hijab sold separately. 241 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:56,920 - You'd make an obedient wife. 242 00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,510 Perhaps we could meet for coffee? 243 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,507 - I don't meet men for coffee. 244 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:04,470 - Oh, forgive me. 245 00:10:04,466 --> 00:10:06,296 I meant with a chaperone. 246 00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:10,670 - My chaperone has to wash her hair. 247 00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:14,970 - About your meat. 248 00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:17,920 - Perhaps you'd like to try the authentic Muslim restaurant 249 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,230 on Jubilee Road? 250 00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:21,310 - I think I will, sister. 251 00:10:21,309 --> 00:10:22,199 Bye. 252 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,400 - There's no Muslim restaurant on Jubilee Road. 253 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,330 - Jubilee Road in Nigeria. 254 00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:36,620 - Oh, Amaar. Do you have a minute? 255 00:10:36,619 --> 00:10:38,039 I need your help. 256 00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:40,590 - I'm not holding down another nail for you. 257 00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:42,690 My thumb is still throbbing. 258 00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:43,550 - It's Sarah. 259 00:10:43,550 --> 00:10:44,970 There must be some rule in the Quran 260 00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:46,977 against praying too much. 261 00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:48,247 - Let me get this straight. 262 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,840 You're asking a spiritual leader 263 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,370 to help someone stop praying? 264 00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:52,750 - She's obsessed. 265 00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:54,030 It's like when Rayyan was born. 266 00:10:54,030 --> 00:10:55,140 She's up in the middle of the night. 267 00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:55,970 She's too tired for- 268 00:10:55,973 --> 00:10:56,983 - For her domestic duties? 269 00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,100 - No, for sex. 270 00:10:59,100 --> 00:10:59,930 - Look, I know. 271 00:10:59,933 --> 00:11:02,503 But would it do you any harm to be a little more devout? 272 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:04,990 Nevermind. 273 00:11:04,993 --> 00:11:07,303 I'm starting to sound like Marlon. 274 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,390 - I thought our new convert was God's gift to Islam. 275 00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:11,670 - That's a lovely way of looking at it, 276 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,940 but seriously what are we going to do about it? 277 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,220 - It's Sarah. The one to worry about. 278 00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:17,480 The kid's harmless. 279 00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:22,690 - You have an office in our mosque. 280 00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:25,050 - Yes and business is heavenly. 281 00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:26,590 - This is no joke. 282 00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:30,730 I'm taking this to the Regional Islamic Council. 283 00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:34,530 They won't allow this desecration to continue. 284 00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:36,720 Allahu Akbar! 285 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:41,660 - You were saying? 286 00:11:41,663 --> 00:11:43,023 - We got to get rid of this guy. 287 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:55,290 - I can't remember if I prayed three or four times today. 288 00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:56,840 See, Tuesdays are hump day. 289 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:57,960 - It's Wednesday. 290 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,130 - Am I five prayers short? Oh, I, I- 291 00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,780 - Sarah, be a man. 292 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:05,160 Give up. 293 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,520 - Well, maybe, maybe I'll just have a little nap on the mat. 294 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,290 Just, just, just for a second. 295 00:12:21,099 --> 00:12:22,809 - Sarah, if you have a chance, 296 00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:25,218 I was wondering if you might do something for me? 297 00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:26,050 - Sure. What? 298 00:12:26,053 --> 00:12:27,103 - Your job! 299 00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:36,240 - Hurry up. He'll be here any moment. 300 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:42,520 I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it. 301 00:12:45,910 --> 00:12:47,900 That is a very good look for you. 302 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,950 Come, come, come, come, come, come, come. 303 00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:55,640 - Still no hijab. 304 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,200 - Still no life? 305 00:12:58,540 --> 00:13:00,020 - You're going to let her talk to me like that? 306 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,200 - Layla, got to your room. 307 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,600 - Good. I'll be in my room. 308 00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:03,523 Bareheaded. 309 00:13:06,088 --> 00:13:07,918 - Have you tried beating her? 310 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,340 It worked for the Taliban. 311 00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:12,220 - I suggest you find a role model 312 00:13:12,219 --> 00:13:15,359 a little bit closer to home. 313 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,900 Please have a seat. 314 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,850 May I offer you some coffee? 315 00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:21,490 - I have to wake up at five and memorize the Quran. 316 00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:23,170 - Maybe some tap water. 317 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,210 - Praise Allah 318 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,920 - You permit decadent music? 319 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,530 - Layla, turn off that hippity-hop. 320 00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:35,360 It's called Hip-Hop 321 00:13:35,363 --> 00:13:37,403 and you bought it for me! 322 00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:40,830 - Sometimes these prayer CDs get mislabeled. 323 00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:42,463 Turn it off. 324 00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:43,510 I hate you. 325 00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:47,810 - Perhaps, Allah is punishing you with this devil child. 326 00:13:51,673 --> 00:13:54,983 - Perhaps Allah is punishing me with your company. 327 00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:04,760 - If he joined Islam to make friends, 328 00:14:04,759 --> 00:14:06,809 he's failed miserably. 329 00:14:06,811 --> 00:14:09,041 - Barber loves him. 330 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,480 - I hate that white fool. 331 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,090 - You were saying? 332 00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:13,816 - He might not mean Marlon. 333 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,800 Barber, do you mean your friend, Marlon? 334 00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:18,534 - Of course I mean bloody Marlon. 335 00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:19,360 - It looks like we're going 336 00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:20,773 to have to excommunicate this guy. 337 00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:22,320 - I'm not the Pope. 338 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,810 Though, I'd love a big hate like that. 339 00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:25,960 - We're stuck with him? 340 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,010 - Look, I'll try talking to him. 341 00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:31,020 - You can't talk to fanatics. 342 00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:36,460 - Sometimes it takes converts a few years to settle down. 343 00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:37,970 We'll just have to be patient. 344 00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:41,830 - I have been totally 100% patient. 345 00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:43,990 You know anyone more patient than me? Hm? 346 00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:48,860 - If you come up with a good plan, let me know. 347 00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:50,690 Otherwise, just go. 348 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:51,520 - Fine. 349 00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:52,643 I will think of something. 350 00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:56,300 - Your move. 351 00:15:02,530 --> 00:15:04,720 - Yasir, I have got it. 352 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,210 What if we move the mosque 353 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,946 and simply don't tell him? 354 00:15:07,947 --> 00:15:10,047 - Put it on coasters, roll it around town? 355 00:15:10,050 --> 00:15:12,710 - I just can't believe that Marlin accused me, 356 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:15,130 of all people, of decadent behavior. 357 00:15:17,190 --> 00:15:19,200 - Baber, that's brilliant. 358 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,140 - I wouldn't put it that way. 359 00:15:21,140 --> 00:15:21,970 No, no. 360 00:15:21,973 --> 00:15:22,813 Maybe I would. 361 00:15:22,806 --> 00:15:24,186 - I'm not saying you're brilliant. 362 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:26,480 You just said something that's given me a great idea. 363 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,220 I'm the brilliant one. 364 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,010 - I definitely would not put it that way. 365 00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:33,120 - We make ourselves look decadent. 366 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,710 Show him we're the worst Muslims in the world. 367 00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:36,540 Scare him off. 368 00:15:36,543 --> 00:15:37,823 - Away from Islam? 369 00:15:37,819 --> 00:15:41,079 What if he falls into Christian hands? 370 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,300 I mean, I would rather die. 371 00:15:42,297 --> 00:15:45,327 - Settle down, Saladin. The crusades are over. 372 00:15:45,325 --> 00:15:46,745 - You tell that to the Americans. 373 00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:49,340 - Salah, focus. Call everyone. 374 00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,430 Tell them to meet us at Fatima's at eight. 375 00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:52,260 - Should we tell Amaar. 376 00:15:52,263 --> 00:15:56,493 - Amaar said to tell him if we came up with a good plan. 377 00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:59,130 - And this is a very bad plan. 378 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,815 Okey dokey. Yeah! 379 00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:02,890 - Sarah. 380 00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:05,380 Sarah! 381 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,730 I kept the premiere waiting for two hours because you- 382 00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:11,200 - Sorry. I'm sorry, Ann. 383 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,610 I'll go pray at home. 384 00:16:14,610 --> 00:16:17,120 - Then you're exhausted at work. 385 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,940 I'm a Christian but I don't let it affect me. 386 00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:23,510 - Are you ordering me to stop? 387 00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:25,170 - Are you asking me to order you to stop? 388 00:16:25,170 --> 00:16:26,230 - Yes. 389 00:16:26,230 --> 00:16:27,060 No. 390 00:16:27,063 --> 00:16:27,903 Yes. 391 00:16:27,896 --> 00:16:30,666 - I think quitting has to come from the heart. 392 00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:31,500 - The weird thing is 393 00:16:31,503 --> 00:16:33,223 I'm actually starting to enjoy praying. 394 00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:35,080 - That's the sleep deprivation talking. 395 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:35,910 Come on. 396 00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:37,053 It's not like you're betting money. 397 00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:39,070 - Well, it's not like I'm actually quitting. 398 00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:39,900 It's just, I'm- 399 00:16:39,903 --> 00:16:42,313 It's like I'm recharging my batteries. 400 00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:45,400 - Keep the lie going and going and go. 401 00:16:45,398 --> 00:16:46,288 - Well- 402 00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,100 - Tomorrow night. Bingo at the church. 403 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:49,200 Bring your daughter. 404 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,030 - I better rest up. 405 00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:50,983 I feel lucky. 406 00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:52,210 - Good girl. 407 00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:53,320 - I'm a bad Muslim. 408 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,310 - Yes, you are. 409 00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:55,790 - Yeah, I know. 410 00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,970 - This is so mean. 411 00:16:59,970 --> 00:17:01,530 Are you sure we should do this to poor Marlon? 412 00:17:01,527 --> 00:17:03,577 - Oh, you mean your future husband? 413 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,030 - Right, I'm in. 414 00:17:06,034 --> 00:17:08,604 - Fatima, everything set? 415 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,700 Baber, ready to rock and roll? 416 00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:11,257 - I'm totally jiggy with it. 417 00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:12,600 - Okay. Anything missing? 418 00:17:12,604 --> 00:17:14,314 - Oh, I'm sorry. 419 00:17:14,307 --> 00:17:15,137 I'm late. 420 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:16,080 I was just catching up on my sleep. 421 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,280 - Mom, you look perfect. 422 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:19,500 Where'd you get the slutty outfit? 423 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:20,970 - Oh, these are just my work- 424 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:21,900 Oh, very funny. 425 00:17:22,768 --> 00:17:24,648 - Places, everyone. He's coming. 426 00:17:28,517 --> 00:17:29,527 - Oh, nice wig. 427 00:17:36,101 --> 00:17:38,731 - What the heck is going on here? 428 00:17:38,730 --> 00:17:41,210 - Welcome, welcome, welcome. 429 00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:43,890 Ready to put the slam in Islam? 430 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:44,940 - Yasir, you're wearing silk. 431 00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,150 That's forbidden for men. 432 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:47,610 - You should see my thong. 433 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,800 - Pork? You can't eat pork. 434 00:17:51,799 --> 00:17:53,169 - What kind of wine should we serve? 435 00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:54,230 Red or white? 436 00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:55,060 - Alcohol? 437 00:17:55,063 --> 00:17:56,713 - Oh, look. 438 00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,330 It's Mr.B. 439 00:17:58,330 --> 00:17:59,460 - I pity the fool. 440 00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:01,610 - Gold on a man? 441 00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:03,250 No. 442 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,459 Hey! 443 00:18:04,457 --> 00:18:05,757 Shameful! 444 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,560 - I know. They should be brown eggs. 445 00:18:12,749 --> 00:18:13,579 - Music? 446 00:18:15,957 --> 00:18:17,787 What is going on here? 447 00:18:18,781 --> 00:18:20,511 Allah will punish you all. 448 00:18:22,132 --> 00:18:23,472 I can't take it. 449 00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:27,040 Allahu Akbar! 450 00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:38,047 - Did you see his face? My goodness. 451 00:18:38,052 --> 00:18:39,852 I thought he was going to have a heart attack. 452 00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:41,800 With the fake pork, and the fake, fake drink, 453 00:18:41,797 --> 00:18:42,987 and the fake joviality. 454 00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:46,580 Oh. 455 00:18:48,286 --> 00:18:50,556 You know, I was joking about the thong. 456 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,540 - This was a bad plan. 457 00:18:52,540 --> 00:18:54,700 - We're horrible Muslims. 458 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,270 Whose idea was this? 459 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:02,330 - It may have been brother Amaar's. 460 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:06,890 - I know what we have to do. We have to pray. 461 00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:08,730 I think that's east or northeast, 462 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:09,560 or whatever it is. 463 00:19:09,563 --> 00:19:10,403 - I pray in this cafe everyday. 464 00:19:10,396 --> 00:19:11,546 It's that way. 465 00:19:11,554 --> 00:19:12,394 - No, no. 466 00:19:12,387 --> 00:19:13,637 - Ladies, ladies, ladies. 467 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,090 Mecca is that way. 468 00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:21,340 - It appears you were a victim 469 00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:23,400 of a practical joke. 470 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,360 - One that you were in on. 471 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,104 - The last practical joke I was in on 472 00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:28,796 was when my dad asked me to pull his finger. 473 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,140 - Some joke. 474 00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:32,200 Why would they do this to me? 475 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,580 - Well, perhaps they thought you were being too judgmental. 476 00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:37,300 - I am not judgemental. 477 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,990 - And Allah will punish them all for behaving like heathens. 478 00:19:39,986 --> 00:19:44,406 - Marlon, it's great that you found a new religion 479 00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:46,210 but you got to ease into it. 480 00:19:46,210 --> 00:19:48,010 You need to learn a little humility. 481 00:19:49,930 --> 00:19:52,370 - I hear you loud and clear, Amaar. 482 00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:53,870 - You know what you need to do. 483 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,620 - I know exactly what I need to do. 484 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,900 - Shake up your balls. 485 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,970 Come on, B 17. 486 00:20:05,970 --> 00:20:07,530 - Where is he with those daubers? 487 00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:08,860 I feel lucky tonight. 488 00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:11,430 - It's hard to get lucky when you got a dry dabber. 489 00:20:13,141 --> 00:20:14,111 - That's good. 490 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:17,153 - Sarah, I think you should go home. 491 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:18,890 - Amaar, shouldn't you be praying? 492 00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:20,600 - Shouldn't you be not gambling? 493 00:20:20,599 --> 00:20:22,189 - Amaar. Talk to the man. 494 00:20:22,185 --> 00:20:23,855 - Imam trumps mayor. 495 00:20:23,859 --> 00:20:24,779 Go. 496 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,040 - Here, take my cards. 497 00:20:29,038 --> 00:20:30,048 Goodnight. 498 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:32,670 - You too! 499 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:34,730 - Brother Amaar, 500 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:37,233 I am one dab away from a double bingo. 501 00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:38,200 - Now. 502 00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:42,160 - You're right. He's right. 503 00:20:42,163 --> 00:20:43,413 Mayor, play my cards. 504 00:20:45,699 --> 00:20:46,949 Clickity-click! 505 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,340 - Looks like some of your lambs have burrs in their wool. 506 00:20:50,340 --> 00:20:53,580 - Religion would it be so much easier without the followers. 507 00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:54,410 Is that Marlon? 508 00:20:54,413 --> 00:20:58,063 - Uh, he came to me after you had your little lecture. 509 00:20:58,060 --> 00:20:59,670 Apparently, he's decided Islam 510 00:20:59,670 --> 00:21:01,970 isn't his cup of chai after all. 511 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,310 - I feel terrible. We let them down. 512 00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:05,490 - I've seen it before. 513 00:21:05,490 --> 00:21:06,830 Spiritual shopping. 514 00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:09,394 I blame the Beatles. 515 00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:10,680 - I'm sorry he's come your way. 516 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,360 Marlon can be a handful. 517 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:15,440 - Frankly, I could use a little enthusiasm at our shop. 518 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,610 Besides, if it becomes too much, 519 00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,750 I'll send him off to the Jehovah's. 520 00:21:18,747 --> 00:21:21,167 - Let the game continue. 521 00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:24,450 Under the I, 522 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,830 Isaiah 27. 523 00:21:26,830 --> 00:21:29,040 Like the slaughter of God's slain, 524 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,140 have they been slain 525 00:21:31,139 --> 00:21:32,579 - Bingo! 526 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:35,152 - Bingo for the baby Jesus. 527 00:21:35,149 --> 00:21:36,419 Hallelujah!